A week into the dream

Kaylin Lee Mixon
Weight: 6.1 lbs


Wow! It has been a week since we brought our sweet Kaylin home! And what a week.  We have entertained numerous friends and family at our house and even ventured out on a couple of outings to see others.  Things are going well and we are all adjusting.  It is still surreal, having her home.  One day we didn't have a baby, then BAM, the next day we did! But it was the best BAM :) K came home on a 3 hour eating schedule and sleeping really well.  We have managed to stick with the feeding, but the sleeping seems to be not going as well.  I have heard numerous thoughts on the subject - spoiling babies.  We know how important it is to bond with baby and help her to feel loved and at home.  So we have loved on her and held her and it is wonderful.  I could snuggle her 24/7.  But it is getting more difficult for her to sleep in her big crib by herself after being held all day! We are doing what most parents do, figuring out what will work, one night at a time.  We have bumped up the thermostat, dressed her more warmly, tried swaddling and not swaddling.  Tonight's trick will be getting some music and white noise playing for her.
Overall, we are loving being parents.  Mark has been super busy at work, but he comes home and spends time with K.  He does the 2am feeding, so I take the 11pm and the 5am, and usually any wake ups in between.  It has worked well, and if we can get her back to sleeping at night, it will be even better.  So many people have visited us and brought gifts and food, it has been awesome.  I have learned that the best thing you can give a new mommy is a meal!
I am really enjoying dressing this sweet girl up in her outfits.  She is still so tiny, she only fits in newborn and premie clothes, but she has plenty to grow into.  We did her newborn pics and those turned out so great.  I have to sit down and order some, then figure out what frames to put them in! It is probably time I changed out some pictures in our house anyways.
So now we continue to adjust to this brand new little life.  In two weeks we will head to the beach, our annual trip to Edisto.  We are really looking forward to that.  With so many friends and baby sitters at hand, it will be a great week.  K doesn't have to go back to the doctor until her two month check up in July.  We do go for her follow up eye exam on Friday and her head and hip scans on Wednesday of next week.  The scans are normal for babies who are breach.  The eye exam is a follow up because her initial one show up premature, which makes sense because she is premature!!

Our Gotcha Day - Tuesday, June 11

Today began as any other summer day... woke up, hit the gym, came home.  Then I began all the last minute preps for what would be the biggest event since our wedding - our Gotcha Day! I think my previous blog gave a brief overview of what went on so I will try to go into more detail now.  

     We responded to a Bethany recruitment email about two and a half weeks ago about a baby that was already born.  She was small and needing a family.  We read through, discussed, and decided to go for it.  So we responded yes.  Then we got a response saying we were one of 10 families who were interested.  We received more info on the baby's medical status and the mother. Once again, we read, discussed, and I just felt this tugging.  I knew this was the one.  Now, I will say I still had doubts.  There were some things we were concerned about and I was worried.  But I just knew we needed to say yes.  I still didn't think that meant we were getting her, but I knew we should say yes.  So we did! We received an email saying we were one of 5 families.  They would let us know when the mother chose.  And so life went on.  I began our last week of school, enjoying time with the kids and my coworkers.  All the while waiting, really I totally expected to get the email that said a family had been chosen.  I have come to some realizations over the last week through all this.  I have always trusted God's plan.  I didn't necessarily like it, but I trusted it.  I still struggled though with the idea that God answers prayers and God has a plan.  It didn't make sense to me that he would have a plan but He would answer your specific prayers.  Well, let me tell you. I have realized that God's plan may not be set in stone.  These are just my thoughts, so keep that in mind.  But when we got the phone call Thursday that the birth mother had chosen us AND she had already signed the papers, I was like "HALLELUIAH!" That is EXACTLY what I prayed for.  And I realized that God does answer our prayers, but He does it in a way that will work the best for His plan.  I am probably not saying this the way I hear it in my head, but I am trying! 

     So anyways, we found out Thursday and by Friday we were able to start visiting her in the hospital.  She was moved out of NICU into the regular nursery.  We went up for a couple of hours each day through the weekend until yesterday.  Then we signed the placement papers and attended a CPR class today.  The sweet nurses at the hospital took such great care of her and of us when we were there.  We came home this afternoon and Kaylin got to meet her grandparents on both sides, her Uncle Matt, and her Aunt Melissa and Brooks.  There are so many people eager to meet her and get some loving and we are so excited to share her.  She is amazing and adorable and we are so very blessed.  We will continue to thank God every day for everything we have been through that led us to this day.  I know the trials aren't over... we have just entered a new phase of trials and adventures and we look forward to all of them!

The phone call that changed our summer-- written Sunday

As I wrapped up the school year this week, my mind was racing with all I needed to do to finish and all I needed to do to get summer started! Each summer I do some tutoring and host book clubs for my former students to keep them reading and spend more time with them.  Then on Thursday (June 6), I got the phone call that would change all those plans.
     I will give all the back story later, but for now I just want to share the good news :) Our social worker from Bethany called to tell me that a birth mother had chosen us to be parents to her baby.  Not only that, but she had already signed relinquishment papers!! This was what we had been praying for.  The baby was here, the papers were signed, and there was no going  back! It was the best, weirdest feeling.  I got to tell Mark that we were chosen and we talked through some of the information.  The baby had been born premature a month earlier.  She was in the NICU and the next 24 hours were spent with me finishing up school with my kiddos and us getting things in line to go visit our baby!
      The hardest part of the whole thing was the waiting.  It is now Sunday and we we have been up to see the baby twice.  She is in the regular nursery and she is doing so well.  We are trying so hard to keep a lid on the news.  We have shared with our families and a few friends, but part of what we are looking forward to is letting the families and friends know about baby Kaylin but just showing up with her!
     Kaylin is currently 5lbs 7oz and she is eating all on her own.  She was born May 5 and weighed 3lbs 6ozs.  So she is gaining weight so well.  Yesterday they took out her feeding tube and she has to keep gaining weight through the weekend.  If she does well, they can discharge her Monday or Tuesday.  And then the fun begins :-)
We can't wait to introduce everyone to Kaylin Lee Mixon.  I will end this blog entry by saying that God is so good.  After all we have been through, I have prayed and prayed for us to get a baby that was already here, papers signed, and that is just what God gave us.  What an amazing Lord we have!!

These are the days of our lives

     Many of you like to keep up with what is happening on our journey and I often have absolutely nothing to report.  But in an effort to keep you all in the loop, I do have a story to share.  We got a call from our attorney's office last week and they had a birth mother they wanted us to meet.  You can imagine I was beyond excited to see that 864 number come up on my phone.  I spent the next few minutes getting all the details, writing them down so I could make sure to share them with the hubs correctly, and then making the call to him.  He said was talking 90 miles an hour, but you know how excited I was.  I proceeded to hit the gym and give him some unprecedented time to think without me staring at him.  When I got home, we agreed that we were definitely interested in meeting the BM.  I called the office manager back and gave her the news.  She said the next step was to work up the budget for us so we would know what to expect financially.  The next day she called to tell us that the cost would be $25,000.  This was the tip top of our budget, but we said we were still good.  The weekend came and we looked forward to setting up a meeting.  On Sunday, the sweet lady called back to tell me that the cost was actually $30,000.  We were going to be paying for several months of living expenses.   You can imagine how Mr. Logical reacted.  The next 24 hours in our house were tense, stressful, and just plain yuck.  I just felt like I couldn't say no and Mark felt like we couldn't afford to say yes.  After several discussions, Mark finally said it was up to me.  So I called the attorney's office and talked with the lady M.  M said she would talk to the Ray and see if they could get the budget down.  I didn't even know this was an option!! So by the end of the day, we had figured out some things that would make this affordable for us.  Meeting time and place was set, all we had to do was feel comfortable with the BM and her with us and it would be a match!
      Tuesday we head up to Greenville to meet the BM.  Ray gives us the "there are no red flags at this point, but you know how this can go" speech.  Oh yes, we know how this can go! So we waited --- and waited --- and nothing.  She didn't show up.  She did not even show up to meet us.  They apologized for having us drive up there and then this happening.  We got in the car and drove on home.  By the time we got back home, all I could do was laugh.  Seriously.  A no-show.  Evidently we have a sign over us that says, "Hey, please jerk us around, we can handle it!"
      Anyways, we still have not heard why she didn't show up and truly, it could be anything.  Part of me worries that something happened to her.  Her situation was pretty sad, so it is possible that not showing up wasn't her fault.  But she was also young and early in her pregnancy, so it is also possible she just ditched us.  Whichever it is, we have to believe that the Lord has something better planned.  In the meantime, we continue to be a source of humor for Him.
     And for those of you who are wondering, we are fine.  No tears were shed over this.  It was exciting at first, but it didn't work and that's okay.  The good things to come from all of this include the fact that the attorney tried to match us with someone already and it has only been two months, we have certainly garnered more sympathy in that office than we had, and we have yet another story to share with our friends and others.
     This road has been long, bumpy, and tough.  I just continue to pray that the end of this journey is coming, whether that is with a baby or the peace of mind that we were meant for other things.

The waiting, oh the waiting!

The hardest part of the last few months has been the waiting.  Weeks go by with nothing new to report.  At the point when we finally do get our baby, I won't know what to with myself when I am not waiting for something.  But then, I guess I will have shifted my waiting to something else.  Anyways, I have been really happy with the lawyer so far, you know, with the obvious exception of a lack of baby. :-) But really, working with Ray's office has been so easy.  They helped critique our photo book and make it appealing to birth moms.  They have emailed us to introduce themselves and just made us feel really good about this decision.  

We are working on our fundraisers.  The puzzle pieces are selling well... 382 so far.  I am hoping to sell 1000 pieces.  The unfortunate part of changing venues for our adoption is that the cost is more.  We have raised and saved so much over the last couple of years, but according to the attorney's office it could cost $25,000.  I have to try really hard to not let the money get me down.  I think that when the baby is there, the money will be too.  This is all truly a test of our faith and trust in the Lord.

Anyways, we are also working on a golf tournament.  More to the point, Mark is working on it.  He is waiting to hear back from the course on the date.  Once we have that firmed up, you'll all have to get your clubs polished and your golf cleats... brushed? I don't know, I'm obviously not a golfer.  I'll be the one driving the beer cart!!

So I will end by saying thank you for your continued support.  Your prayers, your thoughts, your words of encouragement are all the things that get me through the low times and pick me up.  It is so amazing to have the friends and family behind us that we do.  THANK YOU!

Our Missing Piece...

Hey all!
We are raising funds again to help alleviate costs for our adoption.  We are ordering a custom puzzle and selling the pieces.  If you are interested in helping out, just pay through Paypal below and we will write your name on the back of the pieces.
Pieces are $5 apiece or whatever you are willing to donate.

New thoughts

The last couple of weeks have been tough.  I was feeling more and more frustrated with our situation.  We have had no news on the adoption front.  We have responded to every recruitment email sent out and are not chosen each time.  That amount of rejection would get to anyone, right?? Even harder, was that I was trying to keep all this inside and not share how frustrated I was.  Most important to me in my life is being a good witness for God.  I wanted to continue to show people how much we trusted in God's plan and I felt like if I admitted how frustrated and down I was, that I would be saying I didn't trust.  But, I don't do well with keeping things inside.  It was starting to boil over and frankly I was quite crabby!
What I realized this weekend, was that by trying to handle all this myself, I was doing the opposite of what God wants us to do.  First and foremost we are to trust Him and hand over all our troubles and worries to Him.  I was trying, I really was.  But I was also not utilizing another gift, my friends.  I am so blessed with the best friends a girl could ask for.  I have them all over - at work, at home, at church.  All I had to do was use them!! Finally, I did, and with that came the relief and peace I had been looking for.
No one had answers, but what they did have was ears to listen and suggestions for what I could do while I wait. And that was just what I needed.
So, I have begun researching other adoption agencies to find out what else is out there.  Bethany has been fine, but it has been over a year with them and there is no change in sight.  And while we do that, we will be refreshing our profile and book.  Thanks to the photography skills and generosity of my friend Amanda, and with the help of several others, we will be having a little photo shoot next weekend.
We are also considering a couple of fundraisers.  One is a definite - the puzzle.  The puzzle piece has been a theme in our adoption, so we will choose a puzzle that matches our nursery.  Then we will sell the pieces for $5.  When you buy a piece, we put your name on it.  Once the pieces are sold and puzzle is put together, we frame it in glass on both sizes to hang in the nursery.
We are also thinking of doing a golf tournament.  Most of the fundraising we have done has been through my friends and myself.  A golf tournament would let Mark and his friends play a part too.  That one is still in the maybe stage.
So that's the update.  As soon as I choose a puzzle, I will get that going.  I am also looking for suggestions on agencies or attorneys to use.
I am also seeking (again) suggestions for a song for our online profile.  It can't be a song that is copyrighted, so if you have any ideas, send them on!
Thank you for continuing to follow our journey and support us in body and mind and prayer.