This is our FIRST choice

Through the months since we decided to pursue adoption I have shared our story with countless people in all different parts of our lives.  I have told family, friends, strangers.  And there is a common thread that I would like to address and get rid of!! Whenever I tell people that path that has led us to this point, the years of infertility, the money, the time, the surgeries, then I share that we are adopting, people feel compelled to share their stories of friends who have adopted then miraculously gotten pregnant.  While I know that people want to be encouraging and hopeful, this always strikes me as the opposite.  So I thought I should put my feelings out there. 
We have chosen to adopt for 2 reasons: 1- I have always wanted to adopt and bring a child in our home who needed one; and 2- we were ready to start a family that my body wasn't on board with.  Our decision to adopt wasn't our second choice or our back-up plan.  It has always been something we wanted to do.  We are not adopting because we can't have our own children, we are adopting because that's what we feel led to do.  The infertility simply moved up our timeline. 
I know that people's compassion compels them to "make me feel better" about my inability to conceive, but let me assure you, I don't feel bad! I feel wonderful.  I feel excited.  I feel so many awesome things about our future baby, and none of them have anything to do with the baby not being mine.  I am worried about the same things I assume most expectant mothers are: how will the baby like us, will he/she cry too much, will mark and I still like each other when this is done, and so many others. 
So I write this not to make people feel bad, but to let you know that when you hear the stories of families who choose to adopt, remember that they (we) are just as excited as a family who chooses to have a baby the old fashioned way.  You don't go around telling those people stories of families who have adopted! Just be happy, encouraging, and excited about the adoption and don't feel that we need reassurance that we might have a baby of our own.  This will be our own baby.  I don't hope for, pray for, or have a secret desire for my own child.  I am just so excited about the baby some woman will bring into our lives and complete our family.

A different kind of prayer

We have been praying for weeks, months, years really, for God to bring a baby into our lives. When we decided to adopt, our prayer changed a little from help these treatments to work while keeping me healthy, to please help us prepare our hearts and home for a baby through adoption.  But it hit me the other day during a prayer, that while we so desperately want a baby, that baby will be coming from someone who is making the hardest decision.  Right now, there might be a girl, a woman, who is heartbroken over being pregnant.  What I have been praying so hard for, in an inadvertant way, is for someone else's pain.  Not a happy thought!! I know that for this to all work, God will have to work in this other woman's heart to help her make a decision that will bring such joy to our lives.  So, I have changed my prayer a little.  I still pray for a baby  and for the patience to wait for God's timing, but I am also praying for all the women out there who would not see pregnancy as a blessing, but a curse.  I pray that they have support and love from someone who can help them to see that that this difficult time can really end in a wonderful way.  I can't imagine what giving up a baby must feel like, but I hope that we can bring peace to someone's heart the way they will bring joy to ours.
I ask for all of you who have been praying for us and our adoption to please try to include that person who will be blessing us.  Pray that they have peace over their decision when the time comes. 
Thank you all and have a wonderful holiday season.  May God bless your families and the year to come!

A Thanksgiving for remembering and laughing

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays.  I get to see family that I only see on the one holiday.  Everyone is grateful for what they have and where they are.  It's one of the few times a year that people can look beyond their complaints and hard times and really see how good God has been to them.  We have all had struggles and hard times, but in the end, sitting around with your cousins and aunts and uncles and parents and siblings, you can't help but realize how fortunate you are. 
This year, we found ourselves reminiscing about when we were young.  Now the all of my cousins have hit 20 and beyond, we are cherishing that time together even more.  Both sets of my grandparents have passed away, 3 of the 4 when I was young.  On my dad's side, I don't even remember my grandfather.  But we did spend some time remembering my grandmother.  She was such a great grandmom.  It's funny, how as a child you are lucky to really only see and remember the best stuff.  I know now, as an adult, that life with my grandmother wasn't always rosy, but with her grandkids - WOW! We have nothing but good memories.  Granny Jackie had this cool house with a rock garden.  Yep, a rock garden, and we used to look for rocks that she would use in it! She also had a sun bed in her bathroom.  It wasn't a tanning bed, but a little alcove that you laid in when you got out of the bath to dry off.  And she had all our heights measured out on the door frame at the top of her steps. 
It hit me this year that we are starting to make those memories for our children.  My sister has one kid and my cousin has a one year old now.  Hopefully we'll be adding more to the mix in the coming year.  And we are making those memories.  Our kids will remember spending those special Thanksgivings at my aunts house where my uncle refers to the women as "womenfolk" and pretends we have our "place" in the kitchen.  They'll remember my dad sitting out on the porch smoking his pipes enjoying the quiet.  They'll remember looking at the leaves and squirrels and acorns with my mom and my aunt.  They'll remember being on a cooking team to help prepare the Thanksgiving meal.  They'll laugh about the games we play on the Friday after Thanksgiving, or the movie we choose to go see.  They'll read books and play ping pong and take more pictures than they dreamed possible.  And then years from now, they'll say, "Remember when we used to ..." 
Sometimes we get so wrapped up in the things going on around us and the logistics of how we'll make things happen, that we don't really enjoy the things that are happening.  This road to our adoption has seemed long and slow to me, but there has been so much encouragement and love that paved the way for us.  We will be able to look back on this time and say, "Remember when it was just us and we hoped and prayed so hard to fill our home..." 
So, I want to continue this time making memories and savoring the laughs we have.  If there's one thing my family is great at, it's laughing.  And who wouldn't want to remember that. 

The nursery

After spending hours at IKEA, mom and I found a crib... and several other things.  I really didn't know what I wanted going into this shopping trip.  We looked at a few cribs around Columbia a couple of weeks ago, then travelled up Charlotte Sunday.  This was my first trip to IKEA stateside.  And I was quite impressed.  The first sign of trouble was Mom saying to me, "We can buy anything!" Bad sign!
But it turned out well.  I did get some good stuff for the house including the crib.  I went simpler than planned, but it saved us a bundle.  Now, I have to figure out how to motivate my hubby to help put it together.  I also need to find my own motivation to sand and paint the dresser we will be using.  I have a dresser that was handed down from my parents, which my dad says was handed down from his parents.  It will make a perfect dresser and changing table.  My plan is to paint it a sand color.  We bought textured sand colored paint for the bottom drawer.  We are going to decorate it with shells and some other cute beachy things.  I finished touching up the paint on the walls and ceiling tonight.  I can't imagine if I was pregnant and had to leave all this stuff to Mark!!
So, we have the crib, we have the dresser/changing table, we have the pictures and sea creatures for the wall... Now to find the time to put it all together.
I am hoping we hear from the social worker soon.  You'd think I'd have learned my lesson by now to stop praying for patience.  After all we went through over the last couple of years, my friend Tammy told me you shouldn't pray for patience, something that would have been good to know a while back :-) But, I still find myself praying to be patient and accept God's timing.  His plan is my plan and His plan is the best plan.  So, all in good time...

 

Well on our way!

Last night was so amazing!! I still cannot believe the turnout.  We were blessed to be surrounded by our family, friends, and coworkers for a really fun time.  The night started with dinner and drinks and a jam-packed silent auction.  People were eating and bidding and talking.  There were kids running around the putting green outside.  After the bidding wrapped up, we thanked everyone and announced the winners.  People got some great deals on spas, salons, tutoring, books, lottery tickets, and much much more.  Then we danced and just enjoyed the evening. 
My coworkers did a phenomenal job on the organization of the event.  The food was yummy, the desserts were out of this world, and the entertainment was great.  Overall, it was a great event.  And, I'm sure everyone is wondering, how successful was it?? Well, we raised...

$4425

Yep, A-MA-ZING!

Our next step in the process is the home study visits.  We are just waiting on our social worker to call and set these up.  Bethany has all of our application stuff.  So we wait.  Hopefully we will hear something soon and we can jump this hurdle too!

So, for now, I just want to wrap up by thanking as many people as I can remember who donated to the auction last night and made it so successful!

Thank you...

Miss Cocky

Discovery Flight

Bliss Salon

Bewitched Salon

Griffin Pools and Spas

Hope Bryant

Lindsay Kenney

Mandy Stroud

Jonna Howell

Laura Alexander

Terminex

Susan Douglas

Kiki Wooley

Miryam Malpartida

Kelly DeShazo

Pivotal Fitness

Bodyshop Athletics

Anytime Fitness

There's definitely more and I'll add them.  But right now my eyes are closing.  Mark and I followed up our big night with the Mud Run this morning, so we are wiped out.

Thank you everyone!!



It's coming along...

What's that you ask? Well, a couple of very exciting things!!
We got our nursery painted this weekend.  Just a few touchups still needed because my painting skills do leave a little to be desired, but the bulk is done.  We went with a color that is light blue, called stillness.  I think that bodes well, right?

 Primed and ready

 Some pictures Mom and Dad got for the nursery on their cruise up the New England coast.

Found this print in the Bahamas by an artist from Clemson.








And the second thing to be super excited about is our upcoming Spaghetti Supper and Silent Auction.  Next Friday is the day! We have some awesome stuff to bid on, like a weekend in Cherry Grove, a Nook, several fun baskets, gift certificates for the Body Shop and Pivotal Fitness, and wine.  There is so much fun stuff going on.  I am just hoping we have lots of people come and eat some baked spaghetti/ziti, have a few drinks, and just have fun.  I want to see kids and grown ups alike having a fun Friday night raising money for our baby.
On that note, where do we stand?
All our paperwork is in.  We are just waiting now on our home study to start.  Our social worker should be contacting us this month to set up those visits.  Fingers crossed, by the end of October, we'll be baby ready!
Now if I could just find the time to go shopping!

Email me, call me, or message me to let me know if you want to join the fun Friday night.  We need a count of who's coming, so even if you don't pay in advance, just let me know you are coming so I can get a count.  Need to know how much food to make!

The Nursery

I have finally wrapped my brain around designing a nursery.  We are going with a beach theme.  The beach is my absolute favorite place and I can design away without knowing if we are getting a boy or girl.  I have narrowed paint colors down to two, one a little more green, the other blue.  I am really excited about this and have been burning up Pinterest with ideas.  Now I have to get out there and actually shop!! I went to a huge consignment sale and ended up almost in tears.  That was definitely not my scene :-) It's a great place for bargains but you really need to know what you want before you go in there.  I did come out with a floor mat and a Gamecock goodie bag, as well as an adorable USC outfit for my niece. 
My next step is to hit up IKEA.  The only piece of furniture we plan to buy is a crib.  I have a dresser that belonged to my parents that I will repaint and use as a dresser and changing table.  I also want an adirondak rocker.  So my challenge there is to find one I like that doesn't cost an arm and a leg!
If you've got any good ideas, please share! I'll add pics as we actually put my vision into reality.
And if you aren't on Pinterest, you should check it out.  I have finally (almost) figured it out and have added a ton of ideas to my kid room board.