When you want to make an announcement

I am going to take the heat off of a lot of you. When you become pregnant and you have to announce to a friend that you are with child... announce that!! Listen, even those of us who can't "get pregnant" appreciate the significance of the event. What we don't appreciate is the hem-hawing! So, I am telling you as a person who can't, just say it! Announce it! It's what we would do! If we could have our own baby, we would shout it from the rooftops. So if you do less, I am insulted. I appreciate you thinking of my feelings and all that, but honestly, it hurts more when our fun dinners out turn awkward because you don't know how to act around me.  I am here to tell you, announce it.  I want my friends to have all the gifts that God has promised them!
I won't lie, yes, it hurts my heart a little each time.  But, I'm ok with that.  I have people that help me with that part.  I want each person in my life to have all that God has promised them.  I get that kids  will be a part of our lives.  I understand that there is a plan I am not privy to.  And I know some will read this and think my faith is misplaced or sad, but it is what it is. 

Having a child is a gift.  I want to celebrate that gift with you.  Please don't rob me of that by feeling like you shouldn't tell me about something wonderful happening in your life.  And when something wonderful happens in mine, we will all share the joy!!

Updates, etc

It has been months since my last blog, but that's mostly because there isn't anything to report.  We are still awaiting God's plan and in the meantime staying very busy.  If you know us, you know that's how we roll! There is no news on our adoption front at this time.  We do continue to ask everyone to pray for us and the baby that God is preparing for us.  We also ask for prayers for the mothers making very difficult decisions that will eventually complete our family.
Just some life updates on Mark and I. 
I am finishing up my internship for graduate school and looking at just two more classes until graduation!! That's right, I'll be done in December.  My degree would allow me to pursue administrative positions, but at this time, I am still so in love with teaching that I am not going anywhere.  My heart has always been with the children and I just am not ready to give up the promise of day to day interactions with them. Administration certainly has it perks, but it's not my path right now.  The good news is that it can be my path whenever I feel called now that I have gotten the degree.  And through this program I have been blessed with new friends, which is always a good thing!
Other than that, Mark and I have enjoyed this summer.  We did our annual trip to Edisto Beach for the 4th of July with our friends and it was great! We had a blast as always and it is the highlight of the summer for us.
Immediately upon returning from Edisto, I packed my bags (again) and headed to Haiti on a mission trip with my church.  I do plan to blog specifically about that in the coming week, but for now, suffice it to say it was the most amazing thing I have ever done.  God provided the opportunity, the means, and He has obviously laid it on my heart to return.  I don't know when I'll go back, but I know as sure as I'm breathing that I will.  We spent time in two orphanages, so I did what my heart loves, I hugged and kissed and played with kids.  And when it was time to go, I left a large part of my heart there.  I promised the kids I'd be back and I don't make that promise lightly.
I returned to SC with the knowledge that we are so incredibly blessed here.  We have more resources and access to "things" than those people could even imagine.  And yet, they smile and are happy to see us.  It's hard to even describe in words.  I'll save that for my next blog.
The rest of the summer will see me trying to soak up some more sun, relaxing, and enjoying time with friends and family.  What more could a girl ask for?!

Horsin' Around...

So dorky, I know :-) Yesterday, Mark's family held a fundraiser for us in Bamberg that was so much fun! It was a horse show.  Now for those of you who know me, you know that I know the basics about a horse - four legs, mane, tail, neigh.  That's about the extent of it.  But Mark's cousins and aunt ride and compete and all that cool stuff.  So they decided they wanted to do a horse show  to help us out.  It was held in Bamberg and the Mixons were all in attendance, along with a lot of people and a lot of horses.  The show also benefitted the 4H Club, a worthy cause as well. 
     So I'll walk you through what I now know about horse shows.  First, you spend the entired week before stalking the weather channel apps on your phones and texting back and forth about who will do which anti-rain dance. Then on the Friday before, you send celebratory texts for doing such good dances because what was predicted to be a washout Saturday has blessedly turned into a 70 degree partly sunny day with rain in the late afternoon and evening.  YEH!!
     Then you get up early Saturday morning while your husband (Mark) rushes you out the door barefooted and forgetting half the things you intended to take (including a hundred coozies we still need to sell).  But you are on your way to Bamberg.  Upon arrival you greet family and horses, thanking everyone including the 4-legged creatures for their help.  At least I did.  All the participants, horses, friends, and family begin showing up.  Since I am not a horse show expert, my job here was to mainly sit back and look pretty --Check! Many thanks to all the friends who brought their kids out and enjoyed a beautiful morning and afternoon. 
     First up was the exhibition where the riders all took their turns on the barrel races, trying to get the best times.  If I remember correctly the best time was 16.02 seconds.  The second best time was 16.05 seconds, that's how close it was! But this went on for a few hours.  During this time, the real riders (the kids) got to do pony rides on Thunder, the coolest little pony, and just run and play.  It was such a nice time!!
     After that, the PeeWee Class started.  That's where Mark's beautiful cousins led 30 kids around the barrels.  The kids all got ribbons and goodie bags, including bubbles. 
Then the youth class.  By this time, the clouds were rolling in and the rain was threatening.  The decision was made to cancel the last class and get things cleaned up.  In the meantime there was a heated silent auction for some tasty cakes and pies.  I assume they were tasty, but the winners, who included my brother-in-law and an uncle quickly took their winnings and left. 
     We got the areas cleaned, the stuff all packed up, and returned home.  It was a long day, but so much fun and I'm sure successful.  Totals not in yet, but in my mind, the effort and enjoyment were enough, so any funds raised are just icing on the cake!

At the end of a great show!

Uncle Tater and Ry sharing some horsey thoughts

The Mixon Men - I love this pic!! It's Mark's dad, brother, himself, Uncle Leonard, and Roland

Brooks and Thunder!

Rainy day updates

I don't have much to update, but since it's a rainy day, I thought I'd write up a new blog. 

In the process...
Our report should be done this week and signed off by Bethany's director.  After that we are officially "waiting".  Everyone keeps asking how long it will be and the best answer I have is God long.  It's in God's hands, as it has always been, but most especially now.  We are waiting for the right birth mother to feel we are the right adoptive parents for her baby.  That could be days, weeks, months from now.  We have no idea! My ideal timing would be this summer.  I have a lot going on right now with school and work, including my internship with my principal.  I have a student teacher working with me.  I am really enjoying this group of kids.  So, if I had the choice, I wouldn't want to miss this semester.  BUT, I will take the baby whenever it comes and we will juggle however we must to make it work.  One of the wonderful things about my husband is he has the ability to take everything that comes our way and make it seem easy.  So while I will stress and worry and wonder, he will sit back and be the calm face of this little family. :-)

As for fundraising...
Mark's cousin, Kristen, has taken the reigns, literally, to organize a horse show in our benefit! I am so excited.  Partially because she is working so hard and I am not.  But also because this is something that Mark's family will be involved in and that makes me happy.  Sometimes I feel like they don't feel as a part of this as I want them to be.  So this fundraiser will take place in Bamberg and they are running the show! Kristen has coordinated the whole thing and it will be fabulous! Now, I don't know much about horses, she has had to break everything down to me in kindergarten terms.  This will mainly be for people who do horse shows normally, barrel racing and stuff.  But they are also doing some rides for kids who just want to get on a horse.  My niece might not get off a horse once they put her on.  There will be a cake auction and concessions.  It should be a really fun day! If you want to help out, attend, need some details, let me know and I'll put you in touch with Kristen. 

And so, Mark and I continue to do the things we love while we pray and wait for our baby and we pray for the birth mother who right now might be making difficult decisions.  I feel like 2012 will be a spectacular year for us.  At least I'll graduate, so we know one exciting thing!!

This is our FIRST choice

Through the months since we decided to pursue adoption I have shared our story with countless people in all different parts of our lives.  I have told family, friends, strangers.  And there is a common thread that I would like to address and get rid of!! Whenever I tell people that path that has led us to this point, the years of infertility, the money, the time, the surgeries, then I share that we are adopting, people feel compelled to share their stories of friends who have adopted then miraculously gotten pregnant.  While I know that people want to be encouraging and hopeful, this always strikes me as the opposite.  So I thought I should put my feelings out there. 
We have chosen to adopt for 2 reasons: 1- I have always wanted to adopt and bring a child in our home who needed one; and 2- we were ready to start a family that my body wasn't on board with.  Our decision to adopt wasn't our second choice or our back-up plan.  It has always been something we wanted to do.  We are not adopting because we can't have our own children, we are adopting because that's what we feel led to do.  The infertility simply moved up our timeline. 
I know that people's compassion compels them to "make me feel better" about my inability to conceive, but let me assure you, I don't feel bad! I feel wonderful.  I feel excited.  I feel so many awesome things about our future baby, and none of them have anything to do with the baby not being mine.  I am worried about the same things I assume most expectant mothers are: how will the baby like us, will he/she cry too much, will mark and I still like each other when this is done, and so many others. 
So I write this not to make people feel bad, but to let you know that when you hear the stories of families who choose to adopt, remember that they (we) are just as excited as a family who chooses to have a baby the old fashioned way.  You don't go around telling those people stories of families who have adopted! Just be happy, encouraging, and excited about the adoption and don't feel that we need reassurance that we might have a baby of our own.  This will be our own baby.  I don't hope for, pray for, or have a secret desire for my own child.  I am just so excited about the baby some woman will bring into our lives and complete our family.

A different kind of prayer

We have been praying for weeks, months, years really, for God to bring a baby into our lives. When we decided to adopt, our prayer changed a little from help these treatments to work while keeping me healthy, to please help us prepare our hearts and home for a baby through adoption.  But it hit me the other day during a prayer, that while we so desperately want a baby, that baby will be coming from someone who is making the hardest decision.  Right now, there might be a girl, a woman, who is heartbroken over being pregnant.  What I have been praying so hard for, in an inadvertant way, is for someone else's pain.  Not a happy thought!! I know that for this to all work, God will have to work in this other woman's heart to help her make a decision that will bring such joy to our lives.  So, I have changed my prayer a little.  I still pray for a baby  and for the patience to wait for God's timing, but I am also praying for all the women out there who would not see pregnancy as a blessing, but a curse.  I pray that they have support and love from someone who can help them to see that that this difficult time can really end in a wonderful way.  I can't imagine what giving up a baby must feel like, but I hope that we can bring peace to someone's heart the way they will bring joy to ours.
I ask for all of you who have been praying for us and our adoption to please try to include that person who will be blessing us.  Pray that they have peace over their decision when the time comes. 
Thank you all and have a wonderful holiday season.  May God bless your families and the year to come!

A Thanksgiving for remembering and laughing

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays.  I get to see family that I only see on the one holiday.  Everyone is grateful for what they have and where they are.  It's one of the few times a year that people can look beyond their complaints and hard times and really see how good God has been to them.  We have all had struggles and hard times, but in the end, sitting around with your cousins and aunts and uncles and parents and siblings, you can't help but realize how fortunate you are. 
This year, we found ourselves reminiscing about when we were young.  Now the all of my cousins have hit 20 and beyond, we are cherishing that time together even more.  Both sets of my grandparents have passed away, 3 of the 4 when I was young.  On my dad's side, I don't even remember my grandfather.  But we did spend some time remembering my grandmother.  She was such a great grandmom.  It's funny, how as a child you are lucky to really only see and remember the best stuff.  I know now, as an adult, that life with my grandmother wasn't always rosy, but with her grandkids - WOW! We have nothing but good memories.  Granny Jackie had this cool house with a rock garden.  Yep, a rock garden, and we used to look for rocks that she would use in it! She also had a sun bed in her bathroom.  It wasn't a tanning bed, but a little alcove that you laid in when you got out of the bath to dry off.  And she had all our heights measured out on the door frame at the top of her steps. 
It hit me this year that we are starting to make those memories for our children.  My sister has one kid and my cousin has a one year old now.  Hopefully we'll be adding more to the mix in the coming year.  And we are making those memories.  Our kids will remember spending those special Thanksgivings at my aunts house where my uncle refers to the women as "womenfolk" and pretends we have our "place" in the kitchen.  They'll remember my dad sitting out on the porch smoking his pipes enjoying the quiet.  They'll remember looking at the leaves and squirrels and acorns with my mom and my aunt.  They'll remember being on a cooking team to help prepare the Thanksgiving meal.  They'll laugh about the games we play on the Friday after Thanksgiving, or the movie we choose to go see.  They'll read books and play ping pong and take more pictures than they dreamed possible.  And then years from now, they'll say, "Remember when we used to ..." 
Sometimes we get so wrapped up in the things going on around us and the logistics of how we'll make things happen, that we don't really enjoy the things that are happening.  This road to our adoption has seemed long and slow to me, but there has been so much encouragement and love that paved the way for us.  We will be able to look back on this time and say, "Remember when it was just us and we hoped and prayed so hard to fill our home..." 
So, I want to continue this time making memories and savoring the laughs we have.  If there's one thing my family is great at, it's laughing.  And who wouldn't want to remember that.