Rainy day updates

I don't have much to update, but since it's a rainy day, I thought I'd write up a new blog. 

In the process...
Our report should be done this week and signed off by Bethany's director.  After that we are officially "waiting".  Everyone keeps asking how long it will be and the best answer I have is God long.  It's in God's hands, as it has always been, but most especially now.  We are waiting for the right birth mother to feel we are the right adoptive parents for her baby.  That could be days, weeks, months from now.  We have no idea! My ideal timing would be this summer.  I have a lot going on right now with school and work, including my internship with my principal.  I have a student teacher working with me.  I am really enjoying this group of kids.  So, if I had the choice, I wouldn't want to miss this semester.  BUT, I will take the baby whenever it comes and we will juggle however we must to make it work.  One of the wonderful things about my husband is he has the ability to take everything that comes our way and make it seem easy.  So while I will stress and worry and wonder, he will sit back and be the calm face of this little family. :-)

As for fundraising...
Mark's cousin, Kristen, has taken the reigns, literally, to organize a horse show in our benefit! I am so excited.  Partially because she is working so hard and I am not.  But also because this is something that Mark's family will be involved in and that makes me happy.  Sometimes I feel like they don't feel as a part of this as I want them to be.  So this fundraiser will take place in Bamberg and they are running the show! Kristen has coordinated the whole thing and it will be fabulous! Now, I don't know much about horses, she has had to break everything down to me in kindergarten terms.  This will mainly be for people who do horse shows normally, barrel racing and stuff.  But they are also doing some rides for kids who just want to get on a horse.  My niece might not get off a horse once they put her on.  There will be a cake auction and concessions.  It should be a really fun day! If you want to help out, attend, need some details, let me know and I'll put you in touch with Kristen. 

And so, Mark and I continue to do the things we love while we pray and wait for our baby and we pray for the birth mother who right now might be making difficult decisions.  I feel like 2012 will be a spectacular year for us.  At least I'll graduate, so we know one exciting thing!!

This is our FIRST choice

Through the months since we decided to pursue adoption I have shared our story with countless people in all different parts of our lives.  I have told family, friends, strangers.  And there is a common thread that I would like to address and get rid of!! Whenever I tell people that path that has led us to this point, the years of infertility, the money, the time, the surgeries, then I share that we are adopting, people feel compelled to share their stories of friends who have adopted then miraculously gotten pregnant.  While I know that people want to be encouraging and hopeful, this always strikes me as the opposite.  So I thought I should put my feelings out there. 
We have chosen to adopt for 2 reasons: 1- I have always wanted to adopt and bring a child in our home who needed one; and 2- we were ready to start a family that my body wasn't on board with.  Our decision to adopt wasn't our second choice or our back-up plan.  It has always been something we wanted to do.  We are not adopting because we can't have our own children, we are adopting because that's what we feel led to do.  The infertility simply moved up our timeline. 
I know that people's compassion compels them to "make me feel better" about my inability to conceive, but let me assure you, I don't feel bad! I feel wonderful.  I feel excited.  I feel so many awesome things about our future baby, and none of them have anything to do with the baby not being mine.  I am worried about the same things I assume most expectant mothers are: how will the baby like us, will he/she cry too much, will mark and I still like each other when this is done, and so many others. 
So I write this not to make people feel bad, but to let you know that when you hear the stories of families who choose to adopt, remember that they (we) are just as excited as a family who chooses to have a baby the old fashioned way.  You don't go around telling those people stories of families who have adopted! Just be happy, encouraging, and excited about the adoption and don't feel that we need reassurance that we might have a baby of our own.  This will be our own baby.  I don't hope for, pray for, or have a secret desire for my own child.  I am just so excited about the baby some woman will bring into our lives and complete our family.