"And anyone who welcomes a child like this on my behalf is welcoming me" Matthew 18:5

Friday, December 21, 2012

Special prayers and thanks

People keep asking me if I am excited about how close we are getting.  Generally, I give them the answer they want --yes.  But truthfully, I can't say excited is the feeling.  My best friend asked me how I was feeling and I said anxious.  In response, she gave me all the mother-to-be anxiousness thoughts.  But truthfully, none of those feelings have hit me yet.  And talking to Mark, none of them have hit him either.  Right now, we are are much more anxious about the reality of the situation we are in.  Will it go through? Will the birth mother change her mind? In a month, will we be parents???
So many of our very best friends have been through the "normal" process to becoming parents. But we are travelling a different path.  It is hard to say to your best friends, "I have no idea what you are talking about".  But the truth is, we don't, and neither do they.   Thankfully, we have such wonderful friends that they have all done everything they can to understand what we feel and what we are going through.  And I thank God for that every day.  Not everyone can say they have friends like we do.  But, man, our friends, they are amazing. 
But, for all those going through a non-traditional approach to starting a family -- it's non-traditional.  We don't feel the normal parent-to-be anxiousness because we are not there yet.  We are still in the "we hope this actually happens" phase.  My worries include: will she follow through with this adoption? How will this relationship work after the baby is born? Will we be the parents she wants for her baby? How will we handle it if she changes her mind?
The last question seems pessimistic, but to me, it is realistic.  At no point should I let that question go because I have to prepare my heart for that possibiltiy.  Only God knows what is planned for that baby. 
I recognize that every mother faces the fears of something going wrong.  However, my fears are that something I will say or do might cause our birth mother to change her mind. 
I know what good parents Mark and I would be.  But it's not up to us. 
I guess  the end to this blog is a call to prayer.  I ask for all my friends and family to pray that our birth mother makes the best decision for her and the baby, that the baby continues to grow and be healthy, and that we accept the plan that God has for us. 
We love and appreciate all the prayers and support we have had through our journey.  I know that all the mothers out there will recognize my desires and I hope will pray a special prayer for me.  Thank you!! We love you all for accompanying us on this journey. 

Sunday, December 9, 2012

Ultrasounds, registering, there's a baby coming!

Wow!! The last couple of weeks have been incredibly busy.  I finished grad school (still waiting on one grade to make it official) and will be graduating in a week.  YIPPEE! That relief has been amazing.  On top of that we have had some fun baby things happen.  We got to see an ultrasound of Baby Jax a couple of weeks ago.  It was absolutely amazing, seeing our little guy right there on the screen.  He is weighing in at 5 lbs 4 oz right now and they expect him to be over 8 lbs when he is born.  I like a big baby :-)
Earlier this week I went and registered at Babies 'R' Us and holy cow.  First of all, it took 3 hours to complete the registering process.  I had no idea it would be so involved, but with the help of Melissa and her list, I got over 200 things on that registry.  We scanned everything from bottles to cups to diapers to a jogging stroller, you name it, I think I registered for it! I was just looking over the registry again tonight and making some adjustments. 
At this point, I think we are both excited but still a little ... I don't know the word.  We know he's coming, we have prepared the room, our families, our hearts, but it's very surreal.  We have spent over 12 years together, just the two of us and our little fur babies.  And one day in January, BAM, there will be a little person in our lives -- forever! People keep telling me you just can't be ready, no matter what you think and I hope that's right.  We are as ready as we can be and God has done so many things in my heart to get me ready for this.  I notice little changes in myself all the time now that I NEVER thought would happen! We have always been the go getters, the "let's go out and have fun" people and I just couldn't imagine that changing.  But lately I have thought how fun it will be to spend some weekends right here with just us.  My friend Heather said to me the other day that I was the only person she knew of that had to have a baby to slow down :-) Probably the truest statement yet!
So, we are enjoying this time of year, the decorations, the parties, the friends and family... and we are enjoying our last year as a two person family. 
On another note, my friend April is expecting her baby in March! She got matched up with a birth mother last month also and they are really excited. In January, we will be helping her to raise money for her adoption costs.  We are so familiar with the stress and worry that comes along with preparing for an adoption.  And our friends and families were so supportive of us and we hope to do the same for someone else.  She has started blogging to share her story and when it is up and running I"ll link to her page.  She has a story to tell and we hope and pray it has a happy beginning!! Be on the lookout for that and I'll try to be more diligent about my blogging now that I have some time.  I do plan to keep blogging once Jax is here for those who like to get a glimpse into the lives of others!!

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Finally!! Cautious excitement...

I have a law paper due in three days, so it seemed like the perfect time to write a new blog entry. :)
As many of you have already heard, we got the news we have been so anxiously awaiting for over a year now.  We are matched with a birth mother!! We found out about three weeks ago that this mother had chosen us to be her baby's parents.  We met with her on a Sunday afternoon and got to talk through our questions and concerns.  This will be an open adoption, which means the birth mother will be a part of our lives as long as she chooses.  I am excited and nervous about this at the same time.  I like her, which is a good thing! She is basically going to be like extended family for us. 
Our baby is due in mid-January.  I went to the the dr with our birth mom (BM) on Monday and we found out we are being blessed with a little boy.  Mark is beside himself excited.  I am excited too, but for those of you who know me, raising a boy will be challenging! I am all sparkly shoes and hair bows, not mud and tractors.  But it doesn't matter, all of this will be new to us, so we will learn it like we have done everything else, as a family.
For those not familiar with adoptions, I'll explain what happens next.  We remain in contact with the BM until she gets ready to have the baby.  There is nothing legal tying her to us, so she could still have a change of heart.  That is in God's hands.  If this is truly the baby God has chosen for us, then when the BM goes into labor, she'll call us.  She has said she is okay with us being in the delivery room, which is so exciting.  That means we'll get to hold our baby as soon as he is born.  Then, according to SC law, the papers that will make him officially ours can be signed approximately 24 hours after the birth.  Once the doctor has cleared the BM of all medication she can sign the papers.
We will still have to wait the 90 days before the court actually makes it permanent, but once we take him home, he will be ours. 
So all that being said, we are excited, but cautious.  We will continue to pray for our BM's health, our baby's health, and that whatever God has planned for us, we will be ready.  We ask that you include all three of us in your prayers too.  This is an amazing time of year and I will have a lot to keep me busy while I wait for James Court Mixon to be born.  We'll be calling him Jax!
We can't wait to meet him and introduce him to everyone in our lives who has been praying for this child and for us. 

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

When you want to make an announcement


I am going to take the heat off of a lot of you. When you become pregnant and you have to announce to a friend that you are with child... announce that!! Listen, even those of us who can't "get pregnant" appreciate the significance of the event. What we don't appreciate is the hem-hawing! So, I am telling you as a person who can't, just say it! Announce it! It's what we would do! If we could have our own baby, we would shout it from the rooftops. So if you do less, I am insulted. I appreciate you thinking of my feelings and all that, but honestly, it hurts more when our fun dinners out turn awkward because you don't know how to act around me.  I am here to tell you, announce it.  I want my friends to have all the gifts that God has promised them!
I won't lie, yes, it hurts my heart a little each time.  But, I'm ok with that.  I have people that help me with that part.  I want each person in my life to have all that God has promised them.  I get that kids  will be a part of our lives.  I understand that there is a plan I am not privy to.  And I know some will read this and think my faith is misplaced or sad, but it is what it is. 

Having a child is a gift.  I want to celebrate that gift with you.  Please don't rob me of that by feeling like you shouldn't tell me about something wonderful happening in your life.  And when something wonderful happens in mine, we will all share the joy!!

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Updates, etc

It has been months since my last blog, but that's mostly because there isn't anything to report.  We are still awaiting God's plan and in the meantime staying very busy.  If you know us, you know that's how we roll! There is no news on our adoption front at this time.  We do continue to ask everyone to pray for us and the baby that God is preparing for us.  We also ask for prayers for the mothers making very difficult decisions that will eventually complete our family.
Just some life updates on Mark and I. 
I am finishing up my internship for graduate school and looking at just two more classes until graduation!! That's right, I'll be done in December.  My degree would allow me to pursue administrative positions, but at this time, I am still so in love with teaching that I am not going anywhere.  My heart has always been with the children and I just am not ready to give up the promise of day to day interactions with them. Administration certainly has it perks, but it's not my path right now.  The good news is that it can be my path whenever I feel called now that I have gotten the degree.  And through this program I have been blessed with new friends, which is always a good thing!
Other than that, Mark and I have enjoyed this summer.  We did our annual trip to Edisto Beach for the 4th of July with our friends and it was great! We had a blast as always and it is the highlight of the summer for us.
Immediately upon returning from Edisto, I packed my bags (again) and headed to Haiti on a mission trip with my church.  I do plan to blog specifically about that in the coming week, but for now, suffice it to say it was the most amazing thing I have ever done.  God provided the opportunity, the means, and He has obviously laid it on my heart to return.  I don't know when I'll go back, but I know as sure as I'm breathing that I will.  We spent time in two orphanages, so I did what my heart loves, I hugged and kissed and played with kids.  And when it was time to go, I left a large part of my heart there.  I promised the kids I'd be back and I don't make that promise lightly.
I returned to SC with the knowledge that we are so incredibly blessed here.  We have more resources and access to "things" than those people could even imagine.  And yet, they smile and are happy to see us.  It's hard to even describe in words.  I'll save that for my next blog.
The rest of the summer will see me trying to soak up some more sun, relaxing, and enjoying time with friends and family.  What more could a girl ask for?!

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Horsin' Around...

So dorky, I know :-) Yesterday, Mark's family held a fundraiser for us in Bamberg that was so much fun! It was a horse show.  Now for those of you who know me, you know that I know the basics about a horse - four legs, mane, tail, neigh.  That's about the extent of it.  But Mark's cousins and aunt ride and compete and all that cool stuff.  So they decided they wanted to do a horse show  to help us out.  It was held in Bamberg and the Mixons were all in attendance, along with a lot of people and a lot of horses.  The show also benefitted the 4H Club, a worthy cause as well. 
     So I'll walk you through what I now know about horse shows.  First, you spend the entired week before stalking the weather channel apps on your phones and texting back and forth about who will do which anti-rain dance. Then on the Friday before, you send celebratory texts for doing such good dances because what was predicted to be a washout Saturday has blessedly turned into a 70 degree partly sunny day with rain in the late afternoon and evening.  YEH!!
     Then you get up early Saturday morning while your husband (Mark) rushes you out the door barefooted and forgetting half the things you intended to take (including a hundred coozies we still need to sell).  But you are on your way to Bamberg.  Upon arrival you greet family and horses, thanking everyone including the 4-legged creatures for their help.  At least I did.  All the participants, horses, friends, and family begin showing up.  Since I am not a horse show expert, my job here was to mainly sit back and look pretty --Check! Many thanks to all the friends who brought their kids out and enjoyed a beautiful morning and afternoon. 
     First up was the exhibition where the riders all took their turns on the barrel races, trying to get the best times.  If I remember correctly the best time was 16.02 seconds.  The second best time was 16.05 seconds, that's how close it was! But this went on for a few hours.  During this time, the real riders (the kids) got to do pony rides on Thunder, the coolest little pony, and just run and play.  It was such a nice time!!
     After that, the PeeWee Class started.  That's where Mark's beautiful cousins led 30 kids around the barrels.  The kids all got ribbons and goodie bags, including bubbles. 
Then the youth class.  By this time, the clouds were rolling in and the rain was threatening.  The decision was made to cancel the last class and get things cleaned up.  In the meantime there was a heated silent auction for some tasty cakes and pies.  I assume they were tasty, but the winners, who included my brother-in-law and an uncle quickly took their winnings and left. 
     We got the areas cleaned, the stuff all packed up, and returned home.  It was a long day, but so much fun and I'm sure successful.  Totals not in yet, but in my mind, the effort and enjoyment were enough, so any funds raised are just icing on the cake!
At the end of a great show!

Uncle Tater and Ry sharing some horsey thoughts

The Mixon Men - I love this pic!! It's Mark's dad, brother, himself, Uncle Leonard, and Roland

Brooks and Thunder!

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Rainy day updates

I don't have much to update, but since it's a rainy day, I thought I'd write up a new blog. 

In the process...
Our report should be done this week and signed off by Bethany's director.  After that we are officially "waiting".  Everyone keeps asking how long it will be and the best answer I have is God long.  It's in God's hands, as it has always been, but most especially now.  We are waiting for the right birth mother to feel we are the right adoptive parents for her baby.  That could be days, weeks, months from now.  We have no idea! My ideal timing would be this summer.  I have a lot going on right now with school and work, including my internship with my principal.  I have a student teacher working with me.  I am really enjoying this group of kids.  So, if I had the choice, I wouldn't want to miss this semester.  BUT, I will take the baby whenever it comes and we will juggle however we must to make it work.  One of the wonderful things about my husband is he has the ability to take everything that comes our way and make it seem easy.  So while I will stress and worry and wonder, he will sit back and be the calm face of this little family. :-)

As for fundraising...
Mark's cousin, Kristen, has taken the reigns, literally, to organize a horse show in our benefit! I am so excited.  Partially because she is working so hard and I am not.  But also because this is something that Mark's family will be involved in and that makes me happy.  Sometimes I feel like they don't feel as a part of this as I want them to be.  So this fundraiser will take place in Bamberg and they are running the show! Kristen has coordinated the whole thing and it will be fabulous! Now, I don't know much about horses, she has had to break everything down to me in kindergarten terms.  This will mainly be for people who do horse shows normally, barrel racing and stuff.  But they are also doing some rides for kids who just want to get on a horse.  My niece might not get off a horse once they put her on.  There will be a cake auction and concessions.  It should be a really fun day! If you want to help out, attend, need some details, let me know and I'll put you in touch with Kristen. 

And so, Mark and I continue to do the things we love while we pray and wait for our baby and we pray for the birth mother who right now might be making difficult decisions.  I feel like 2012 will be a spectacular year for us.  At least I'll graduate, so we know one exciting thing!!

Friday, January 6, 2012

This is our FIRST choice

Through the months since we decided to pursue adoption I have shared our story with countless people in all different parts of our lives.  I have told family, friends, strangers.  And there is a common thread that I would like to address and get rid of!! Whenever I tell people that path that has led us to this point, the years of infertility, the money, the time, the surgeries, then I share that we are adopting, people feel compelled to share their stories of friends who have adopted then miraculously gotten pregnant.  While I know that people want to be encouraging and hopeful, this always strikes me as the opposite.  So I thought I should put my feelings out there. 
We have chosen to adopt for 2 reasons: 1- I have always wanted to adopt and bring a child in our home who needed one; and 2- we were ready to start a family that my body wasn't on board with.  Our decision to adopt wasn't our second choice or our back-up plan.  It has always been something we wanted to do.  We are not adopting because we can't have our own children, we are adopting because that's what we feel led to do.  The infertility simply moved up our timeline. 
I know that people's compassion compels them to "make me feel better" about my inability to conceive, but let me assure you, I don't feel bad! I feel wonderful.  I feel excited.  I feel so many awesome things about our future baby, and none of them have anything to do with the baby not being mine.  I am worried about the same things I assume most expectant mothers are: how will the baby like us, will he/she cry too much, will mark and I still like each other when this is done, and so many others. 
So I write this not to make people feel bad, but to let you know that when you hear the stories of families who choose to adopt, remember that they (we) are just as excited as a family who chooses to have a baby the old fashioned way.  You don't go around telling those people stories of families who have adopted! Just be happy, encouraging, and excited about the adoption and don't feel that we need reassurance that we might have a baby of our own.  This will be our own baby.  I don't hope for, pray for, or have a secret desire for my own child.  I am just so excited about the baby some woman will bring into our lives and complete our family.