Baby here. Read Mommy's blog and thought I should add my perspective. I had a lot to learn this year, since I knew nothing before. So here is what I have learned in my almost eight months of life:
1- Play dates -- They say these things are for babies, so we can get "socialized". Yeah, from what I can tell, they are really just an excuse for mommies (and sometimes daddies) to get together, gab, and more often than not, have a drink or two. What I have gathered is that they used to call these Happy Hour, but had to change the name when the kids came along.
2 - Crying -- Most of the time I have no idea why I am crying but I have figured out that when I cry, good things happen. For example, last night I wasn't tired so I cried. First daddy came in and rocked me. Then I still wasn't tired so I cried some more and mommy came in and took me to bed with them. SCORE!
3 - Baby Food -- What is this stuff?? It all tastes weird. All these flavors mixed together, more flavors than I have ever had in my life! And it does not look like what mommy and daddy are eating at all. Why can't I just have that?
4 - Snot -- I am not sure why mommy hates it so much. I can't help that I have so much of it. But any time there is the slightest drip she comes at me with the sucky thing and the tissues and sticks stuff in my nose! Come on MOM!
5 - Puppy Brother -- I love that guy. He lets me grab his face and pet him and he keeps coming back for more. And he is so funny looking!
6 - Aunties -- Evidently I have like 50 of them. They all have high pitched voices and are hilarious. They find themselves very funny which usually makes me laugh. But they always bring me prizes and snuggles so I am not complaining. Plus most of them are way more comfortable to lay on than mom.
These are just a few of the things I have learned. I will continue to advise mommy on her blogging so we can give you insight into both of our perspectives.
Baby - Out
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
Monday, December 30, 2013
What we have learned
Over 6 months into this parenthood journey and I thought I would share some of the thing things we have learned. I will give both Mark's and my leanrings, though his didn't come from his mouth, just my observations. They are pretty spot on though, if you ask me.
Mom
1 - Schedule is a fictional word made up by someone who actually thinks they are controlling when and where their baby does stuff, instead of the other way around. I can't make this girl eat or sleep any more than I can stand to wear white and off white together.
2 - She will be dressed better than me. Why not, no one is looking at me when we are together anyways.
3 - There is no sweeter sight than a smile, no sweeter sound than a laugh, and no more painful sound than crying -- painful for mommy and daddy, not baby.
4 - Laying out clothes for her to wear is a suggestion for daddy. If I want her to wear any accessories I better stash them in her bag or the car to be sure.
5 - Developmental milestones are general - they don't apply to every baby all the time. A preemie will be a preemie for the first two years, no matter how big she gets. I think that falls in the same line of thought as your baby always being your baby, no matter how old they are.
Dad
1 - Ruffles go in the back.
2 - Tags go in the back. Evidently boys don't have tags in their clothes so they don't know this??
3 - There is a difference between tights and pants. No clue what the difference is but he knows there is one.
4 - You can't put your baby in a bubble.
5 - You still can't put your baby in a bubble. The world is out there, the best you can do is wash your hands and hers, cause mama isn't gonna stay in the house with her all day every day.
6 - When mommy lays out clothes they are merely a suggestion. Pick and choose what you like out of the chosen outfit. Matching is optional.
Both
We figured but have confirmed that daddies are just as good at parenting as mommies. In our house, daddy is probably better! I am not afraid to go out for a night or a weekend and leave the baby with daddy any more than he is afraid to go out and leave me home with the baby.
Your life changes as much as you choose for it to change. You can still go out, you can still have fun, but how and when is up to you. Babies are portable, sitters are available (though not cheap), and places are open early and late! You have to be more flexible, but it is possible.
Grandparents are a Godsend!! Not sure where we would be without our parents being so in love with this girl.
I am sure I will think of more but it was time to dust off the keyboard and let everyone know how things were going!! This journey continues to be the best ever!!
Mom
1 - Schedule is a fictional word made up by someone who actually thinks they are controlling when and where their baby does stuff, instead of the other way around. I can't make this girl eat or sleep any more than I can stand to wear white and off white together.
2 - She will be dressed better than me. Why not, no one is looking at me when we are together anyways.
3 - There is no sweeter sight than a smile, no sweeter sound than a laugh, and no more painful sound than crying -- painful for mommy and daddy, not baby.
4 - Laying out clothes for her to wear is a suggestion for daddy. If I want her to wear any accessories I better stash them in her bag or the car to be sure.
5 - Developmental milestones are general - they don't apply to every baby all the time. A preemie will be a preemie for the first two years, no matter how big she gets. I think that falls in the same line of thought as your baby always being your baby, no matter how old they are.
Dad
1 - Ruffles go in the back.
2 - Tags go in the back. Evidently boys don't have tags in their clothes so they don't know this??
3 - There is a difference between tights and pants. No clue what the difference is but he knows there is one.
4 - You can't put your baby in a bubble.
5 - You still can't put your baby in a bubble. The world is out there, the best you can do is wash your hands and hers, cause mama isn't gonna stay in the house with her all day every day.
6 - When mommy lays out clothes they are merely a suggestion. Pick and choose what you like out of the chosen outfit. Matching is optional.
Both
We figured but have confirmed that daddies are just as good at parenting as mommies. In our house, daddy is probably better! I am not afraid to go out for a night or a weekend and leave the baby with daddy any more than he is afraid to go out and leave me home with the baby.
Your life changes as much as you choose for it to change. You can still go out, you can still have fun, but how and when is up to you. Babies are portable, sitters are available (though not cheap), and places are open early and late! You have to be more flexible, but it is possible.
Grandparents are a Godsend!! Not sure where we would be without our parents being so in love with this girl.
I am sure I will think of more but it was time to dust off the keyboard and let everyone know how things were going!! This journey continues to be the best ever!!
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Bonding
I have kind of wondered where to take this blog now that our "journey" to adoption is technically over. We are on a whole new journey of course, but the original purpose of this blog was to keep people up to speed on where we were with the adoption. I'll start with that... we have our baby :-) The next step is finalization. We have not received our court date yet, but typically that is about three months from placement. We have spent the last month getting to know our girl, going to doctor's appts, visiting friends and family, and even squeezing in a vacation! It has been a very busy and exciting time.
I have been thinking about what I wanted to write about next and on my heart has been the topic of bonding. I have heard so many mothers say. "I loved him/her the instant I saw her." I wondered how it would be adopting. If this was a book or movie then I would say, "As soon as we saw her we knew she was our baby." That is just not the case though. Maybe because we were so gun-shy from the last time, but it took a while to really bond with Kaylin. Now, don't get me wrong, we loved her immediately, but it was love in the same way that I love the babies my friends all have. Each day we visited her in the hospital was great, but we both really looked forward to bringing her home and feeling truly like she belonged with us. I can't say when it hit me exactly. I remember a couple of times in the first couple of weeks feeling like, wow, this is really it, she is really my daughter. But it wasn't something that hit me all over. I think it was about two weeks in that I was just overcome with that feeling of love and something else. It was completely all consuming. But it came and went. And for the next few weeks I felt it more and more. It was such a gradual thing. One night, looking at that face, I just realized that she was all I had ever wanted. Or more to the point, all I wanted right then.
I was curious how Mark felt about her and all that we had gone through. The daddy perspective is not something that we hear because boys/men are not conditioned to talk about how they feel. But they have their rare moments, and he shared that he felt a lot like I had. He didn't love her all at once, but it was so gradual, that once it happened it almost over took him. He had moments that he didn't think would phase him hit really hard. K stayed two nights with her grandparents while we were at the beach. They really wanted to keep her and I was so hesitant, but Mark kept saying how good it would be for us to get some full nights sleep! In the end I gave in, though not without tears! I trust my in-laws completely. Watching her go was not fear of what would happen but just missing the little face that had become part of my daily life. Mark said it hit him more than he even thought.
At this point, 5 weeks into our life with Kaylin, we are completely smitten and completely in her hands. No matter how late she keeps us up, no matter how often she needs to eat, sleep, poop, we are pretty much at her disposal. I often wondered if a mother really sees how her child looks or if no matter what, she thought her own baby was beautiful. Now I know, YES! No matter what has gone on, how the relationship came about, what the baby looks like, mothers and fathers, once bonded, it's like cement. Everything we do is for this little girl. When she actually looks at us and waves those little arms, our hearts just melt. What a great gift God has given us, that love between parents and children.
So, for other adoptive parents, or possibly even birth parents, bonding may not be like in the movies. Everyone loves babies, but there will come a moment, or a series of moments when you realize that you would give anything for the child.
I have been thinking about what I wanted to write about next and on my heart has been the topic of bonding. I have heard so many mothers say. "I loved him/her the instant I saw her." I wondered how it would be adopting. If this was a book or movie then I would say, "As soon as we saw her we knew she was our baby." That is just not the case though. Maybe because we were so gun-shy from the last time, but it took a while to really bond with Kaylin. Now, don't get me wrong, we loved her immediately, but it was love in the same way that I love the babies my friends all have. Each day we visited her in the hospital was great, but we both really looked forward to bringing her home and feeling truly like she belonged with us. I can't say when it hit me exactly. I remember a couple of times in the first couple of weeks feeling like, wow, this is really it, she is really my daughter. But it wasn't something that hit me all over. I think it was about two weeks in that I was just overcome with that feeling of love and something else. It was completely all consuming. But it came and went. And for the next few weeks I felt it more and more. It was such a gradual thing. One night, looking at that face, I just realized that she was all I had ever wanted. Or more to the point, all I wanted right then.
I was curious how Mark felt about her and all that we had gone through. The daddy perspective is not something that we hear because boys/men are not conditioned to talk about how they feel. But they have their rare moments, and he shared that he felt a lot like I had. He didn't love her all at once, but it was so gradual, that once it happened it almost over took him. He had moments that he didn't think would phase him hit really hard. K stayed two nights with her grandparents while we were at the beach. They really wanted to keep her and I was so hesitant, but Mark kept saying how good it would be for us to get some full nights sleep! In the end I gave in, though not without tears! I trust my in-laws completely. Watching her go was not fear of what would happen but just missing the little face that had become part of my daily life. Mark said it hit him more than he even thought.
At this point, 5 weeks into our life with Kaylin, we are completely smitten and completely in her hands. No matter how late she keeps us up, no matter how often she needs to eat, sleep, poop, we are pretty much at her disposal. I often wondered if a mother really sees how her child looks or if no matter what, she thought her own baby was beautiful. Now I know, YES! No matter what has gone on, how the relationship came about, what the baby looks like, mothers and fathers, once bonded, it's like cement. Everything we do is for this little girl. When she actually looks at us and waves those little arms, our hearts just melt. What a great gift God has given us, that love between parents and children.
So, for other adoptive parents, or possibly even birth parents, bonding may not be like in the movies. Everyone loves babies, but there will come a moment, or a series of moments when you realize that you would give anything for the child.
Thursday, June 27, 2013
I'm Having Their Baby - tv show review
Now that we are post-placement, I was able to watch a few episodes of I'm Having Their Baby on Oxygen or Lifetime or some other lady channel. My first impression was that it was a pretty good interpretation of the side of the birth mothers. Upon further thought and inspection, there are definitely some issues that really get my goat. First, it seems that most episodes have two stories, one inevitably backs out of the adoption, the other follows through. This gives the impression that 50% of birth mothers back out. Okay, not true. One of the first things our Greenville attorney told us was that there is about a 10% interruption rate. Even if that is on the low end, it is no where near 50%. I could not bring myself to watch the show prior to getting our sweet Kaylin and thank God!! How disheartening for an adoptive parent to see so many birth mothers changing their minds.
The second really irritating thing was the people surrounding the birth mothers and the "advice" they give them. In our first adoption plan, we heard after the fact that the birth mother had a lot of people in her ear giving her bad advice. This show epitomizes that!! One episode in particular showed a girl planning to place her child for adoption and she and the father go to talk to his mother. The mother proceeds to tell them that God doesn't make mistakes and she just thinks they should find a way to make it work. Her mother had 10 kids and she kept every one of them. Oh my blood was boiling. At what point do you want to end the cycle. I think it is totally admirable for a person to make sacrifices to keep their children. I also think it is completely selfless to realize that no matter how many sacrifices you make, it might not be the life you want your child to live. God certainly doesn't make mistakes, but He allows people to. And thank goodness! Otherwise how many parents would never be parents?? These people say they are supporting their friends, sisters, daughters, but what they are really doing is judging. I know that I am on the other side of the issue, but how can you judge a person who wants a better life for a child and for themselves for future children. All of the women on the show are doing the best they can. I know that some people make the right decision in keeping their children, but the reasons for the adoption are still there.
So, to end this tv show review, I am on the fence. I will keep watching because I am fascinated by these stories. But if any of you know someone facing this very difficult decision, please keep in mind that it is a really hard place for a person to be and supporting them doesn't have to mean you give advice or judge. It just means you stand by them and listen.
The second really irritating thing was the people surrounding the birth mothers and the "advice" they give them. In our first adoption plan, we heard after the fact that the birth mother had a lot of people in her ear giving her bad advice. This show epitomizes that!! One episode in particular showed a girl planning to place her child for adoption and she and the father go to talk to his mother. The mother proceeds to tell them that God doesn't make mistakes and she just thinks they should find a way to make it work. Her mother had 10 kids and she kept every one of them. Oh my blood was boiling. At what point do you want to end the cycle. I think it is totally admirable for a person to make sacrifices to keep their children. I also think it is completely selfless to realize that no matter how many sacrifices you make, it might not be the life you want your child to live. God certainly doesn't make mistakes, but He allows people to. And thank goodness! Otherwise how many parents would never be parents?? These people say they are supporting their friends, sisters, daughters, but what they are really doing is judging. I know that I am on the other side of the issue, but how can you judge a person who wants a better life for a child and for themselves for future children. All of the women on the show are doing the best they can. I know that some people make the right decision in keeping their children, but the reasons for the adoption are still there.
So, to end this tv show review, I am on the fence. I will keep watching because I am fascinated by these stories. But if any of you know someone facing this very difficult decision, please keep in mind that it is a really hard place for a person to be and supporting them doesn't have to mean you give advice or judge. It just means you stand by them and listen.
Monday, June 24, 2013
In the club
If you are a girl, at some point in your life, there has been a club or group that you wanted to be a part of. It might have been a group in high school or a sorority in college. If you are like me, once you got your mind set to be in the club, that was the focus, how to get in. You might have even decided you really disliked the girls already in the club at some point because you weren't a part of it. Well, as an adult, that club was motherhood for me. For a long time I didn't want to be in the club. I was perfectly happy teaching all my babies and then sending them home. Even as friends started having their own kids, I still was not convinced that club was for me. I was in the "let's be able to go and do as we please" club and I liked it. Mark and I did a lot of fun things, going out, travelling, paying off debts we acquired as young, dumb kids. Then, I started to get the bug. Maybe the motherhood club was something I should look into. I did some "research". I watched friends, family, coworkers, to see how they handled being in the club and still having a life. As time went on, I decided I wanted to be in the club. Mark and I discussed and decided we were ready to join. So we did what most people do, we thought once we decided to join, we would get in right away. Truth be told, once I set my mind to things, I was used to getting my way. If I wanted to be in the club, then I would get in. And as you all know from following my blog and being in our lives, we hit a hard reality. Simply wanting it wouldn't make it so. I went through those phases where I didn't like the members of the club, pretty much because I couldn't get in. Friends were all joining and speaking their secret club language. It was difficult time!
But as we have finally been initiated into the club it is so gratifying. I can use the secret club language, I learned the handshake (it is pretty much try to find the other person's hand while they laugh at your bloodshot, dark circled eyes), and we have enjoyed every minute of it. It sounds like a silly comparison, but motherhood/parenthood is a club. When you are not in, you are very aware of it. You notice all those around you who are in it. You tune out of club business conversations, and even at times feel like that is all that being discussed. Then once you make it in, you get to participate! You have things to contribute!
What I learned from being out of the club for so long is that there is life outside the club. While we definitely enjoy every aspect of parenting so far, I am very conscious of those around me who are not in the club. Some have not joined by choice, others by circumstance, but regardless, there is something to be said for recognizing those who have other things going on. I hope that as time goes on, I will continue to be aware of my conversations, social media posts, etc. Just because she is the center of our lives doesn't negate what our friends and family all have going on. We love our girl, but I still want to talk about other stuff, hear about other news, and see other pictures. Still, though, I am totally thrilled to be in the club finally!!
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
A week into the dream
Kaylin Lee Mixon
Weight: 6.1 lbs
Wow! It has been a week since we brought our sweet Kaylin home! And what a week. We have entertained numerous friends and family at our house and even ventured out on a couple of outings to see others. Things are going well and we are all adjusting. It is still surreal, having her home. One day we didn't have a baby, then BAM, the next day we did! But it was the best BAM :) K came home on a 3 hour eating schedule and sleeping really well. We have managed to stick with the feeding, but the sleeping seems to be not going as well. I have heard numerous thoughts on the subject - spoiling babies. We know how important it is to bond with baby and help her to feel loved and at home. So we have loved on her and held her and it is wonderful. I could snuggle her 24/7. But it is getting more difficult for her to sleep in her big crib by herself after being held all day! We are doing what most parents do, figuring out what will work, one night at a time. We have bumped up the thermostat, dressed her more warmly, tried swaddling and not swaddling. Tonight's trick will be getting some music and white noise playing for her.
Overall, we are loving being parents. Mark has been super busy at work, but he comes home and spends time with K. He does the 2am feeding, so I take the 11pm and the 5am, and usually any wake ups in between. It has worked well, and if we can get her back to sleeping at night, it will be even better. So many people have visited us and brought gifts and food, it has been awesome. I have learned that the best thing you can give a new mommy is a meal!
I am really enjoying dressing this sweet girl up in her outfits. She is still so tiny, she only fits in newborn and premie clothes, but she has plenty to grow into. We did her newborn pics and those turned out so great. I have to sit down and order some, then figure out what frames to put them in! It is probably time I changed out some pictures in our house anyways.
So now we continue to adjust to this brand new little life. In two weeks we will head to the beach, our annual trip to Edisto. We are really looking forward to that. With so many friends and baby sitters at hand, it will be a great week. K doesn't have to go back to the doctor until her two month check up in July. We do go for her follow up eye exam on Friday and her head and hip scans on Wednesday of next week. The scans are normal for babies who are breach. The eye exam is a follow up because her initial one show up premature, which makes sense because she is premature!!
Weight: 6.1 lbs
Wow! It has been a week since we brought our sweet Kaylin home! And what a week. We have entertained numerous friends and family at our house and even ventured out on a couple of outings to see others. Things are going well and we are all adjusting. It is still surreal, having her home. One day we didn't have a baby, then BAM, the next day we did! But it was the best BAM :) K came home on a 3 hour eating schedule and sleeping really well. We have managed to stick with the feeding, but the sleeping seems to be not going as well. I have heard numerous thoughts on the subject - spoiling babies. We know how important it is to bond with baby and help her to feel loved and at home. So we have loved on her and held her and it is wonderful. I could snuggle her 24/7. But it is getting more difficult for her to sleep in her big crib by herself after being held all day! We are doing what most parents do, figuring out what will work, one night at a time. We have bumped up the thermostat, dressed her more warmly, tried swaddling and not swaddling. Tonight's trick will be getting some music and white noise playing for her.
Overall, we are loving being parents. Mark has been super busy at work, but he comes home and spends time with K. He does the 2am feeding, so I take the 11pm and the 5am, and usually any wake ups in between. It has worked well, and if we can get her back to sleeping at night, it will be even better. So many people have visited us and brought gifts and food, it has been awesome. I have learned that the best thing you can give a new mommy is a meal!
I am really enjoying dressing this sweet girl up in her outfits. She is still so tiny, she only fits in newborn and premie clothes, but she has plenty to grow into. We did her newborn pics and those turned out so great. I have to sit down and order some, then figure out what frames to put them in! It is probably time I changed out some pictures in our house anyways.
So now we continue to adjust to this brand new little life. In two weeks we will head to the beach, our annual trip to Edisto. We are really looking forward to that. With so many friends and baby sitters at hand, it will be a great week. K doesn't have to go back to the doctor until her two month check up in July. We do go for her follow up eye exam on Friday and her head and hip scans on Wednesday of next week. The scans are normal for babies who are breach. The eye exam is a follow up because her initial one show up premature, which makes sense because she is premature!!
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
Our Gotcha Day - Tuesday, June 11
Today began as any other summer day... woke up, hit the gym, came home. Then I began all the last minute preps for what would be the biggest event since our wedding - our Gotcha Day! I think my previous blog gave a brief overview of what went on so I will try to go into more detail now.
We responded to a Bethany recruitment email about two and a half weeks ago about a baby that was already born. She was small and needing a family. We read through, discussed, and decided to go for it. So we responded yes. Then we got a response saying we were one of 10 families who were interested. We received more info on the baby's medical status and the mother. Once again, we read, discussed, and I just felt this tugging. I knew this was the one. Now, I will say I still had doubts. There were some things we were concerned about and I was worried. But I just knew we needed to say yes. I still didn't think that meant we were getting her, but I knew we should say yes. So we did! We received an email saying we were one of 5 families. They would let us know when the mother chose. And so life went on. I began our last week of school, enjoying time with the kids and my coworkers. All the while waiting, really I totally expected to get the email that said a family had been chosen. I have come to some realizations over the last week through all this. I have always trusted God's plan. I didn't necessarily like it, but I trusted it. I still struggled though with the idea that God answers prayers and God has a plan. It didn't make sense to me that he would have a plan but He would answer your specific prayers. Well, let me tell you. I have realized that God's plan may not be set in stone. These are just my thoughts, so keep that in mind. But when we got the phone call Thursday that the birth mother had chosen us AND she had already signed the papers, I was like "HALLELUIAH!" That is EXACTLY what I prayed for. And I realized that God does answer our prayers, but He does it in a way that will work the best for His plan. I am probably not saying this the way I hear it in my head, but I am trying!
So anyways, we found out Thursday and by Friday we were able to start visiting her in the hospital. She was moved out of NICU into the regular nursery. We went up for a couple of hours each day through the weekend until yesterday. Then we signed the placement papers and attended a CPR class today. The sweet nurses at the hospital took such great care of her and of us when we were there. We came home this afternoon and Kaylin got to meet her grandparents on both sides, her Uncle Matt, and her Aunt Melissa and Brooks. There are so many people eager to meet her and get some loving and we are so excited to share her. She is amazing and adorable and we are so very blessed. We will continue to thank God every day for everything we have been through that led us to this day. I know the trials aren't over... we have just entered a new phase of trials and adventures and we look forward to all of them!
The phone call that changed our summer-- written Sunday
As I wrapped up the school year this week, my mind was racing with all I needed to do to finish and all I needed to do to get summer started! Each summer I do some tutoring and host book clubs for my former students to keep them reading and spend more time with them. Then on Thursday (June 6), I got the phone call that would change all those plans.
I will give all the back story later, but for now I just want to share the good news :) Our social worker from Bethany called to tell me that a birth mother had chosen us to be parents to her baby. Not only that, but she had already signed relinquishment papers!! This was what we had been praying for. The baby was here, the papers were signed, and there was no going back! It was the best, weirdest feeling. I got to tell Mark that we were chosen and we talked through some of the information. The baby had been born premature a month earlier. She was in the NICU and the next 24 hours were spent with me finishing up school with my kiddos and us getting things in line to go visit our baby!
The hardest part of the whole thing was the waiting. It is now Sunday and we we have been up to see the baby twice. She is in the regular nursery and she is doing so well. We are trying so hard to keep a lid on the news. We have shared with our families and a few friends, but part of what we are looking forward to is letting the families and friends know about baby Kaylin but just showing up with her!
Kaylin is currently 5lbs 7oz and she is eating all on her own. She was born May 5 and weighed 3lbs 6ozs. So she is gaining weight so well. Yesterday they took out her feeding tube and she has to keep gaining weight through the weekend. If she does well, they can discharge her Monday or Tuesday. And then the fun begins :-)
We can't wait to introduce everyone to Kaylin Lee Mixon. I will end this blog entry by saying that God is so good. After all we have been through, I have prayed and prayed for us to get a baby that was already here, papers signed, and that is just what God gave us. What an amazing Lord we have!!
I will give all the back story later, but for now I just want to share the good news :) Our social worker from Bethany called to tell me that a birth mother had chosen us to be parents to her baby. Not only that, but she had already signed relinquishment papers!! This was what we had been praying for. The baby was here, the papers were signed, and there was no going back! It was the best, weirdest feeling. I got to tell Mark that we were chosen and we talked through some of the information. The baby had been born premature a month earlier. She was in the NICU and the next 24 hours were spent with me finishing up school with my kiddos and us getting things in line to go visit our baby!
The hardest part of the whole thing was the waiting. It is now Sunday and we we have been up to see the baby twice. She is in the regular nursery and she is doing so well. We are trying so hard to keep a lid on the news. We have shared with our families and a few friends, but part of what we are looking forward to is letting the families and friends know about baby Kaylin but just showing up with her!
Kaylin is currently 5lbs 7oz and she is eating all on her own. She was born May 5 and weighed 3lbs 6ozs. So she is gaining weight so well. Yesterday they took out her feeding tube and she has to keep gaining weight through the weekend. If she does well, they can discharge her Monday or Tuesday. And then the fun begins :-)
We can't wait to introduce everyone to Kaylin Lee Mixon. I will end this blog entry by saying that God is so good. After all we have been through, I have prayed and prayed for us to get a baby that was already here, papers signed, and that is just what God gave us. What an amazing Lord we have!!
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
These are the days of our lives
Many of you like to keep up with what is happening on our journey and I often have absolutely nothing to report. But in an effort to keep you all in the loop, I do have a story to share. We got a call from our attorney's office last week and they had a birth mother they wanted us to meet. You can imagine I was beyond excited to see that 864 number come up on my phone. I spent the next few minutes getting all the details, writing them down so I could make sure to share them with the hubs correctly, and then making the call to him. He said was talking 90 miles an hour, but you know how excited I was. I proceeded to hit the gym and give him some unprecedented time to think without me staring at him. When I got home, we agreed that we were definitely interested in meeting the BM. I called the office manager back and gave her the news. She said the next step was to work up the budget for us so we would know what to expect financially. The next day she called to tell us that the cost would be $25,000. This was the tip top of our budget, but we said we were still good. The weekend came and we looked forward to setting up a meeting. On Sunday, the sweet lady called back to tell me that the cost was actually $30,000. We were going to be paying for several months of living expenses. You can imagine how Mr. Logical reacted. The next 24 hours in our house were tense, stressful, and just plain yuck. I just felt like I couldn't say no and Mark felt like we couldn't afford to say yes. After several discussions, Mark finally said it was up to me. So I called the attorney's office and talked with the lady M. M said she would talk to the Ray and see if they could get the budget down. I didn't even know this was an option!! So by the end of the day, we had figured out some things that would make this affordable for us. Meeting time and place was set, all we had to do was feel comfortable with the BM and her with us and it would be a match!
Tuesday we head up to Greenville to meet the BM. Ray gives us the "there are no red flags at this point, but you know how this can go" speech. Oh yes, we know how this can go! So we waited --- and waited --- and nothing. She didn't show up. She did not even show up to meet us. They apologized for having us drive up there and then this happening. We got in the car and drove on home. By the time we got back home, all I could do was laugh. Seriously. A no-show. Evidently we have a sign over us that says, "Hey, please jerk us around, we can handle it!"
Anyways, we still have not heard why she didn't show up and truly, it could be anything. Part of me worries that something happened to her. Her situation was pretty sad, so it is possible that not showing up wasn't her fault. But she was also young and early in her pregnancy, so it is also possible she just ditched us. Whichever it is, we have to believe that the Lord has something better planned. In the meantime, we continue to be a source of humor for Him.
And for those of you who are wondering, we are fine. No tears were shed over this. It was exciting at first, but it didn't work and that's okay. The good things to come from all of this include the fact that the attorney tried to match us with someone already and it has only been two months, we have certainly garnered more sympathy in that office than we had, and we have yet another story to share with our friends and others.
This road has been long, bumpy, and tough. I just continue to pray that the end of this journey is coming, whether that is with a baby or the peace of mind that we were meant for other things.
Tuesday we head up to Greenville to meet the BM. Ray gives us the "there are no red flags at this point, but you know how this can go" speech. Oh yes, we know how this can go! So we waited --- and waited --- and nothing. She didn't show up. She did not even show up to meet us. They apologized for having us drive up there and then this happening. We got in the car and drove on home. By the time we got back home, all I could do was laugh. Seriously. A no-show. Evidently we have a sign over us that says, "Hey, please jerk us around, we can handle it!"
Anyways, we still have not heard why she didn't show up and truly, it could be anything. Part of me worries that something happened to her. Her situation was pretty sad, so it is possible that not showing up wasn't her fault. But she was also young and early in her pregnancy, so it is also possible she just ditched us. Whichever it is, we have to believe that the Lord has something better planned. In the meantime, we continue to be a source of humor for Him.
And for those of you who are wondering, we are fine. No tears were shed over this. It was exciting at first, but it didn't work and that's okay. The good things to come from all of this include the fact that the attorney tried to match us with someone already and it has only been two months, we have certainly garnered more sympathy in that office than we had, and we have yet another story to share with our friends and others.
This road has been long, bumpy, and tough. I just continue to pray that the end of this journey is coming, whether that is with a baby or the peace of mind that we were meant for other things.
Monday, May 20, 2013
The waiting, oh the waiting!
The hardest part of the last few months has been the waiting. Weeks go by with nothing new to report. At the point when we finally do get our baby, I won't know what to with myself when I am not waiting for something. But then, I guess I will have shifted my waiting to something else. Anyways, I have been really happy with the lawyer so far, you know, with the obvious exception of a lack of baby. :-) But really, working with Ray's office has been so easy. They helped critique our photo book and make it appealing to birth moms. They have emailed us to introduce themselves and just made us feel really good about this decision.
We are working on our fundraisers. The puzzle pieces are selling well... 382 so far. I am hoping to sell 1000 pieces. The unfortunate part of changing venues for our adoption is that the cost is more. We have raised and saved so much over the last couple of years, but according to the attorney's office it could cost $25,000. I have to try really hard to not let the money get me down. I think that when the baby is there, the money will be too. This is all truly a test of our faith and trust in the Lord.
Anyways, we are also working on a golf tournament. More to the point, Mark is working on it. He is waiting to hear back from the course on the date. Once we have that firmed up, you'll all have to get your clubs polished and your golf cleats... brushed? I don't know, I'm obviously not a golfer. I'll be the one driving the beer cart!!
So I will end by saying thank you for your continued support. Your prayers, your thoughts, your words of encouragement are all the things that get me through the low times and pick me up. It is so amazing to have the friends and family behind us that we do. THANK YOU!
We are working on our fundraisers. The puzzle pieces are selling well... 382 so far. I am hoping to sell 1000 pieces. The unfortunate part of changing venues for our adoption is that the cost is more. We have raised and saved so much over the last couple of years, but according to the attorney's office it could cost $25,000. I have to try really hard to not let the money get me down. I think that when the baby is there, the money will be too. This is all truly a test of our faith and trust in the Lord.
Anyways, we are also working on a golf tournament. More to the point, Mark is working on it. He is waiting to hear back from the course on the date. Once we have that firmed up, you'll all have to get your clubs polished and your golf cleats... brushed? I don't know, I'm obviously not a golfer. I'll be the one driving the beer cart!!
So I will end by saying thank you for your continued support. Your prayers, your thoughts, your words of encouragement are all the things that get me through the low times and pick me up. It is so amazing to have the friends and family behind us that we do. THANK YOU!
Sunday, March 17, 2013
Our Missing Piece...
Hey all!
We are raising funds again to help alleviate costs for our adoption. We are ordering a custom puzzle and selling the pieces. If you are interested in helping out, just pay through Paypal below and we will write your name on the back of the pieces.
Pieces are $5 apiece or whatever you are willing to donate.
We are raising funds again to help alleviate costs for our adoption. We are ordering a custom puzzle and selling the pieces. If you are interested in helping out, just pay through Paypal below and we will write your name on the back of the pieces.
Pieces are $5 apiece or whatever you are willing to donate.
Sunday, March 10, 2013
New thoughts
The last couple of weeks have been tough. I was feeling more and more frustrated with our situation. We have had no news on the adoption front. We have responded to every recruitment email sent out and are not chosen each time. That amount of rejection would get to anyone, right?? Even harder, was that I was trying to keep all this inside and not share how frustrated I was. Most important to me in my life is being a good witness for God. I wanted to continue to show people how much we trusted in God's plan and I felt like if I admitted how frustrated and down I was, that I would be saying I didn't trust. But, I don't do well with keeping things inside. It was starting to boil over and frankly I was quite crabby!
What I realized this weekend, was that by trying to handle all this myself, I was doing the opposite of what God wants us to do. First and foremost we are to trust Him and hand over all our troubles and worries to Him. I was trying, I really was. But I was also not utilizing another gift, my friends. I am so blessed with the best friends a girl could ask for. I have them all over - at work, at home, at church. All I had to do was use them!! Finally, I did, and with that came the relief and peace I had been looking for.
No one had answers, but what they did have was ears to listen and suggestions for what I could do while I wait. And that was just what I needed.
So, I have begun researching other adoption agencies to find out what else is out there. Bethany has been fine, but it has been over a year with them and there is no change in sight. And while we do that, we will be refreshing our profile and book. Thanks to the photography skills and generosity of my friend Amanda, and with the help of several others, we will be having a little photo shoot next weekend.
We are also considering a couple of fundraisers. One is a definite - the puzzle. The puzzle piece has been a theme in our adoption, so we will choose a puzzle that matches our nursery. Then we will sell the pieces for $5. When you buy a piece, we put your name on it. Once the pieces are sold and puzzle is put together, we frame it in glass on both sizes to hang in the nursery.
We are also thinking of doing a golf tournament. Most of the fundraising we have done has been through my friends and myself. A golf tournament would let Mark and his friends play a part too. That one is still in the maybe stage.
So that's the update. As soon as I choose a puzzle, I will get that going. I am also looking for suggestions on agencies or attorneys to use.
I am also seeking (again) suggestions for a song for our online profile. It can't be a song that is copyrighted, so if you have any ideas, send them on!
Thank you for continuing to follow our journey and support us in body and mind and prayer.
What I realized this weekend, was that by trying to handle all this myself, I was doing the opposite of what God wants us to do. First and foremost we are to trust Him and hand over all our troubles and worries to Him. I was trying, I really was. But I was also not utilizing another gift, my friends. I am so blessed with the best friends a girl could ask for. I have them all over - at work, at home, at church. All I had to do was use them!! Finally, I did, and with that came the relief and peace I had been looking for.
No one had answers, but what they did have was ears to listen and suggestions for what I could do while I wait. And that was just what I needed.
So, I have begun researching other adoption agencies to find out what else is out there. Bethany has been fine, but it has been over a year with them and there is no change in sight. And while we do that, we will be refreshing our profile and book. Thanks to the photography skills and generosity of my friend Amanda, and with the help of several others, we will be having a little photo shoot next weekend.
We are also considering a couple of fundraisers. One is a definite - the puzzle. The puzzle piece has been a theme in our adoption, so we will choose a puzzle that matches our nursery. Then we will sell the pieces for $5. When you buy a piece, we put your name on it. Once the pieces are sold and puzzle is put together, we frame it in glass on both sizes to hang in the nursery.
We are also thinking of doing a golf tournament. Most of the fundraising we have done has been through my friends and myself. A golf tournament would let Mark and his friends play a part too. That one is still in the maybe stage.
So that's the update. As soon as I choose a puzzle, I will get that going. I am also looking for suggestions on agencies or attorneys to use.
I am also seeking (again) suggestions for a song for our online profile. It can't be a song that is copyrighted, so if you have any ideas, send them on!
Thank you for continuing to follow our journey and support us in body and mind and prayer.
Sunday, January 27, 2013
The rest of the story
Because I started this blog to document our story, I feel like I need to document the whole thing. I have been going back and forth about telling this last part. We did not share it while it was occurring to protect our friends and family from more pain. But now that it is in the past, albeit recent past, I feel like it is important to include it so that our story stays complete. No matter how it ends, I want to remember all of it.
My last blog ended with the birth mother changing her mind and deciding to parent the baby she had promised us for months. We spent an excruciatingly sad weekend just trying to heal and get through the days and nights. It was a long weekend, which was probably good. On Monday, I decided to be brave and tackle the nursery. Upon receiving the news the previous Friday, my sister and I went through the car and house and dumped all things baby-related into the room and shut the door. But on Monday morning, I was feeling a bit stronger and just wanted to get that part over with. I wanted the room cleaned up. We are right at the end of our year cycle with Bethany, which means we need to renew our paperwork and home study. I knew that I needed the house to look okay before our social worker came back to visit. As I cleaned and straightened, I came across a few things the birth mother had given us the month before. I texted the social worker to find out if they would be seeing the birth mother to return the things. She called me back and after a brief conversation, told me that the BM had changed her mind again. She wanted to follow through with the adoption.
Of course, this was news I had secretly hoped for, prayed for. But, we were as sure of this as we were of the initial signing over of rights - not sure at all. I called Mark and when he came home we discussed what we thought, how we felt, etc. We had a couple more conversations with our social worker and it was decided that we would meet with the birth mother later that week before she signed any papers to make sure everyone was on board and on the same page. So another two days had to pass with knots in our stomachs and just unease. We told no one, not wanting to get anyone's hopes up or drag their feelings through the mud if this didn't work out.
On Wednesday, an hour before we were set to meet with the BM, she began the backing out process again. Without going into detail, she first gave some elaborate excuses as to why she couldn't meet, which over the next two hours morphed into reasons she couldn't follow through on the adoption... again.
So, there we were, again. Hopes dashed. Just sad. I was sad. Mark was mad. Our social workers were beside themselves frustrated. But the general consensus that day, and in the days since, is that God was/is protecting us from something. We can only trust that this adoption failed because it wasn't meant to be. This birth mother did not want to give up rights to her child and as we got closer and closer to that happening, she just couldn't do it. I do feel angry sometimes. I think she is selfish. Her situation didn't change. She had people telling her she was a bad mother for giving him to a family. That infuriates me. But, in the end, it just wasn't meant to be, for whatever reason.
We are moving through the process to renew our paperwork and home study this week. And we will continue to pray that there is a baby for us. We don't know for sure there is, but we hope so.
My last blog ended with the birth mother changing her mind and deciding to parent the baby she had promised us for months. We spent an excruciatingly sad weekend just trying to heal and get through the days and nights. It was a long weekend, which was probably good. On Monday, I decided to be brave and tackle the nursery. Upon receiving the news the previous Friday, my sister and I went through the car and house and dumped all things baby-related into the room and shut the door. But on Monday morning, I was feeling a bit stronger and just wanted to get that part over with. I wanted the room cleaned up. We are right at the end of our year cycle with Bethany, which means we need to renew our paperwork and home study. I knew that I needed the house to look okay before our social worker came back to visit. As I cleaned and straightened, I came across a few things the birth mother had given us the month before. I texted the social worker to find out if they would be seeing the birth mother to return the things. She called me back and after a brief conversation, told me that the BM had changed her mind again. She wanted to follow through with the adoption.
Of course, this was news I had secretly hoped for, prayed for. But, we were as sure of this as we were of the initial signing over of rights - not sure at all. I called Mark and when he came home we discussed what we thought, how we felt, etc. We had a couple more conversations with our social worker and it was decided that we would meet with the birth mother later that week before she signed any papers to make sure everyone was on board and on the same page. So another two days had to pass with knots in our stomachs and just unease. We told no one, not wanting to get anyone's hopes up or drag their feelings through the mud if this didn't work out.
On Wednesday, an hour before we were set to meet with the BM, she began the backing out process again. Without going into detail, she first gave some elaborate excuses as to why she couldn't meet, which over the next two hours morphed into reasons she couldn't follow through on the adoption... again.
So, there we were, again. Hopes dashed. Just sad. I was sad. Mark was mad. Our social workers were beside themselves frustrated. But the general consensus that day, and in the days since, is that God was/is protecting us from something. We can only trust that this adoption failed because it wasn't meant to be. This birth mother did not want to give up rights to her child and as we got closer and closer to that happening, she just couldn't do it. I do feel angry sometimes. I think she is selfish. Her situation didn't change. She had people telling her she was a bad mother for giving him to a family. That infuriates me. But, in the end, it just wasn't meant to be, for whatever reason.
We are moving through the process to renew our paperwork and home study this week. And we will continue to pray that there is a baby for us. We don't know for sure there is, but we hope so.
Sunday, January 20, 2013
Worst case scenario
Unfortunately, this is not the blog I had hoped to be posting. The last few days have been heartbreaking. Shortly after I finished my previous post, we got the call we had both dreaded for three months. Our birth mother had changed her mind and decided to parent. Naturally, we are devastated. To be so close, to hold a baby for two days, then to have it all go away, well, you can imagine the feelings. I have been sad, angry, frustrated, guilty, so many exhausting emotions. I don't want to be angry with her, I know the choice she made was difficult and I don't wish any ill will on her. However, I can't help but feel so betrayed. We trusted her, trusted that she would make the best decision for that little boy, not a selfish one to make herself feel better. She has told us so much over the last few months about how she can't afford anything, can barely afford the child care for her first son. So I just sit and wonder how she will afford this one. I am angry because I know what she took from him - a life so filled with love and parents who could afford to give him so much. But, I don't want to be angry, anger isn't going to change what happened. I just keep reminding myself that this wasn't our baby. I have no idea why we were allowed to get so close and then have it not work out. I just have to trust that it is the way it is supposed to be.
The next step? We move on. I know from the experience of my miscarriage that the feeling in the pit of my stomach will ease with time. We are already getting our paperwork in order to renew our home study. This week marks a year since we became "official" with Bethany, which means everything has to be renewed - our home study, our physicals, background checks, etc. And we wait again. So, if you know of anyone who knows someone who can't care for their baby, you know who's looking again.
The next step? We move on. I know from the experience of my miscarriage that the feeling in the pit of my stomach will ease with time. We are already getting our paperwork in order to renew our home study. This week marks a year since we became "official" with Bethany, which means everything has to be renewed - our home study, our physicals, background checks, etc. And we wait again. So, if you know of anyone who knows someone who can't care for their baby, you know who's looking again.
Friday, January 18, 2013
The morning of...
Today has the potential to the be the best day of our lives, the day we have waited for, worked towards, prayed for, hoped for... and it has the potential to absolutely heartbreaking. Right now, we are waiting for the phone call that our birth mother is ready to sign the papers relinquishing custody of her baby. I posted a blog several months ago when the realization hit me that our joy would be someone else's heartache, and we have witnessed this first hand the last two days.
On Wednesday, at 10:07am our precious little baby entered this world. It was not without some drama, either. Even through a c-section, he was not so easily brought into the world. The birth mother experienced a LOT of discomfort as nurses had to push him out of her and they had to use the "vacuum" to pull him out. He has a nice sized circular bruise on his head from that. But he finally joined us and I was so lucky to be able to watch the whole thing and be the first little finger he held. As they rolled him to the nursery, I watched them clean him up, check his stats, and I just stayed with him. My mom, sister, and husband watched through the glass. We all had the same feelings, so much joy, but still that little portion in our heads and hearts that is holding out.
The last two days have been extremely difficult. We sat in a room with a little bundle of joy, but knowing that nothing was certain. Our birth mother was open to friends and family visiting, but she was absolutely exhausted of course. I knew this, but it was so hard for us to leave the baby. We knew that every time we left, she was snuggling and loving him. That just scared the daylights out of us and broke my heart, both for her and for us. Yesterday, we had plans to stay up there as long as possible, until our social worker called me and said we needed to leave. She said that our birth mother was having a really difficult time, and while she wouldn't tell us how she felt, the social workers were speaking for her. It was all stuff I knew, but I cried. We packed our things up and headed out, knowing that if we saw him again, it would mean he was coming home with us.
So here we are, the morning of the day that could change everything for us. Mark is vacuuming, I am blogging, sister suggested some wine to calm the nerves :) I am pretty sure I should go for a run to work these nerves out. We have continued to have more love, support, and prayers coming our way that we could have ever imagined. I know this is repeating myself, but if you ever find yourself in the position where you are the recipients of so much support, you will be floored too. Our friends, coworkers, families, everyone has rallied around us throughout all of this journey. We know that God has a plan and His plan is perfect. We also know that He doesn't promise life will be easy or free of tribulations, only that He promises to be there with us through everything. So no matter what happens, we both know that it is for the best and there is a reason.
I also want to say this, watching our birth mother over the last two days has been so hard because she is not "giving up" this baby because she doesn't want him. There is no question in my mind how much she loves him and would love to keep him. She is making this decision in his best interests. So if she does change her mind, then I know he will be in a loving environment. It won't be with us, but I won't worry about him.
Hopefully the next blog I write will be describing the joy that the rest of this day brings us. Thank you all for supporting us!! WE LOVE YOU!
On Wednesday, at 10:07am our precious little baby entered this world. It was not without some drama, either. Even through a c-section, he was not so easily brought into the world. The birth mother experienced a LOT of discomfort as nurses had to push him out of her and they had to use the "vacuum" to pull him out. He has a nice sized circular bruise on his head from that. But he finally joined us and I was so lucky to be able to watch the whole thing and be the first little finger he held. As they rolled him to the nursery, I watched them clean him up, check his stats, and I just stayed with him. My mom, sister, and husband watched through the glass. We all had the same feelings, so much joy, but still that little portion in our heads and hearts that is holding out.
The last two days have been extremely difficult. We sat in a room with a little bundle of joy, but knowing that nothing was certain. Our birth mother was open to friends and family visiting, but she was absolutely exhausted of course. I knew this, but it was so hard for us to leave the baby. We knew that every time we left, she was snuggling and loving him. That just scared the daylights out of us and broke my heart, both for her and for us. Yesterday, we had plans to stay up there as long as possible, until our social worker called me and said we needed to leave. She said that our birth mother was having a really difficult time, and while she wouldn't tell us how she felt, the social workers were speaking for her. It was all stuff I knew, but I cried. We packed our things up and headed out, knowing that if we saw him again, it would mean he was coming home with us.
So here we are, the morning of the day that could change everything for us. Mark is vacuuming, I am blogging, sister suggested some wine to calm the nerves :) I am pretty sure I should go for a run to work these nerves out. We have continued to have more love, support, and prayers coming our way that we could have ever imagined. I know this is repeating myself, but if you ever find yourself in the position where you are the recipients of so much support, you will be floored too. Our friends, coworkers, families, everyone has rallied around us throughout all of this journey. We know that God has a plan and His plan is perfect. We also know that He doesn't promise life will be easy or free of tribulations, only that He promises to be there with us through everything. So no matter what happens, we both know that it is for the best and there is a reason.
I also want to say this, watching our birth mother over the last two days has been so hard because she is not "giving up" this baby because she doesn't want him. There is no question in my mind how much she loves him and would love to keep him. She is making this decision in his best interests. So if she does change her mind, then I know he will be in a loving environment. It won't be with us, but I won't worry about him.
Hopefully the next blog I write will be describing the joy that the rest of this day brings us. Thank you all for supporting us!! WE LOVE YOU!
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
He's almost here!
Well, we are truly in the "it's almost time" phase. We are what the week of Christmas is to Christmas Day! I have spent a couple of days last week and this week tying up ends with our social worker and our attorney. Many people have followed this because they are curious about the process as much as they care about us. So, I figured I would devote some time to telling you what has been going on the last couple of weeks.
Between the various holidays, we have been getting things ready for the baby. Our social worker has been in contact with us a couple of times a week to clear up some questions, make sure we are feeling good about the process, and just ease any stress we might be feeling. And here I use "we" but actually mean "me" :). I'm sure Mark is stressed in his own special way, but he doesn't show it!
Anyways, so I have talked with the social worker, our BM has talked with her social worker to make sure she is ready. And on that front things are good. She has asked us for some money to help support her after she has the baby, so she can take some time off to recover. We are happy to do this. It's going to be a difficult time for her, so anything we can do to ease that for her, we are willing. It just means we tighten the belt a little and take our parents up on their offerings if we have to. But I firmly believe at this point that God has and will continue to provide everything we need.
We have spoken with the attorney so that he could advise us of our "legal risk". Basically that means that he has to let us know what we are looking at legally where the birth father is concerned. In this case, he is not in the picture and is not aware of the adoption plan. So there is a registry that they have to check. Several years ago the courts set up this registry for men to put their names on. In the event that a guy has sex, he is considered "on notice" that he could be a father. So if he wants to have a legal claim, he must go on to this registry and put his name in. This moves the burden from the courts and the adoptive parents to the birth father. Basically if a guy wants to have any claim to a possible child, he needs to take responsibility to register himself. That's my understanding at least. Because there is no way the father will sign away his parental rights, this is the legal way to acquire them.
So, now, we continue to wait. We had a wonderful baby shower (and again we means me) last weekend and I have gotten everything put cleaned and put away. It's all coming together. While it still doesn't seem real, everyone tells me that is normal. It's just so weird to think that this time next week we could have a baby! So weird...
I'll do another post later with some details and pics from that awesome shower. Keep the prayers coming!
Between the various holidays, we have been getting things ready for the baby. Our social worker has been in contact with us a couple of times a week to clear up some questions, make sure we are feeling good about the process, and just ease any stress we might be feeling. And here I use "we" but actually mean "me" :). I'm sure Mark is stressed in his own special way, but he doesn't show it!
Anyways, so I have talked with the social worker, our BM has talked with her social worker to make sure she is ready. And on that front things are good. She has asked us for some money to help support her after she has the baby, so she can take some time off to recover. We are happy to do this. It's going to be a difficult time for her, so anything we can do to ease that for her, we are willing. It just means we tighten the belt a little and take our parents up on their offerings if we have to. But I firmly believe at this point that God has and will continue to provide everything we need.
We have spoken with the attorney so that he could advise us of our "legal risk". Basically that means that he has to let us know what we are looking at legally where the birth father is concerned. In this case, he is not in the picture and is not aware of the adoption plan. So there is a registry that they have to check. Several years ago the courts set up this registry for men to put their names on. In the event that a guy has sex, he is considered "on notice" that he could be a father. So if he wants to have a legal claim, he must go on to this registry and put his name in. This moves the burden from the courts and the adoptive parents to the birth father. Basically if a guy wants to have any claim to a possible child, he needs to take responsibility to register himself. That's my understanding at least. Because there is no way the father will sign away his parental rights, this is the legal way to acquire them.
So, now, we continue to wait. We had a wonderful baby shower (and again we means me) last weekend and I have gotten everything put cleaned and put away. It's all coming together. While it still doesn't seem real, everyone tells me that is normal. It's just so weird to think that this time next week we could have a baby! So weird...
I'll do another post later with some details and pics from that awesome shower. Keep the prayers coming!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)