Special prayers and thanks

People keep asking me if I am excited about how close we are getting.  Generally, I give them the answer they want --yes.  But truthfully, I can't say excited is the feeling.  My best friend asked me how I was feeling and I said anxious.  In response, she gave me all the mother-to-be anxiousness thoughts.  But truthfully, none of those feelings have hit me yet.  And talking to Mark, none of them have hit him either.  Right now, we are are much more anxious about the reality of the situation we are in.  Will it go through? Will the birth mother change her mind? In a month, will we be parents???
So many of our very best friends have been through the "normal" process to becoming parents. But we are travelling a different path.  It is hard to say to your best friends, "I have no idea what you are talking about".  But the truth is, we don't, and neither do they.   Thankfully, we have such wonderful friends that they have all done everything they can to understand what we feel and what we are going through.  And I thank God for that every day.  Not everyone can say they have friends like we do.  But, man, our friends, they are amazing. 
But, for all those going through a non-traditional approach to starting a family -- it's non-traditional.  We don't feel the normal parent-to-be anxiousness because we are not there yet.  We are still in the "we hope this actually happens" phase.  My worries include: will she follow through with this adoption? How will this relationship work after the baby is born? Will we be the parents she wants for her baby? How will we handle it if she changes her mind?
The last question seems pessimistic, but to me, it is realistic.  At no point should I let that question go because I have to prepare my heart for that possibiltiy.  Only God knows what is planned for that baby. 
I recognize that every mother faces the fears of something going wrong.  However, my fears are that something I will say or do might cause our birth mother to change her mind. 
I know what good parents Mark and I would be.  But it's not up to us. 
I guess  the end to this blog is a call to prayer.  I ask for all my friends and family to pray that our birth mother makes the best decision for her and the baby, that the baby continues to grow and be healthy, and that we accept the plan that God has for us. 
We love and appreciate all the prayers and support we have had through our journey.  I know that all the mothers out there will recognize my desires and I hope will pray a special prayer for me.  Thank you!! We love you all for accompanying us on this journey.