Who is this person??

I have been writing this blog in my head for days, no months.  Every time something comes up that I look around and think, who said that?? When happy hour continues but someone says, "I have to get home before the baby goes to bed", or a weekend away comes up and I hear, "Well, let me think, we had a really busy week and I didn't get to see the baby much, so I am not sure." Yeh, there are some out there thinking they have been waiting for this day.  When you don't have a baby until 34, you have had a lot of time to form habits and create a lifestyle that suits you just fine.  Going out, having drinks with friends, dinner with other couples, girls or boys weekends, all of that is the norm.  You are the one who is easy to plan around.  And then one day you hear yourself questioning if you got to see the baby enough.  Or you think you might not be able to go somewhere because who will pick her up from daycare.  Lord, I never saw it coming.  I mean, I knew in my head that obviously those changes come, but what I didn't realize is how easy they come.  And how seamlessly they integrate themselves into your life.  All of the sudden it is second nature to wonder if you can get home before she goes to sleep, or if your friends will care if dinner doesn't start till 8 so you can help put her to bed.  It's weird really.  I still have many nights where I think man, I would love to go out now.  But not being able to doesn't make me sad or mad.  I think it just makes me nostalgic.  That's a silly word, but the best one I can come up with. 
So this is what your life is. I can't say what someone goes through who is pregnant.  SOmeone once said to me that they wondered how I would fare when a baby came and we began losing sleep.  She said that she felt God prepared women for what was coming with pregnancy and since I was not going to have that preparation.  It came from a curious place, and I really did not think much of it.  But that has stuck with me because I have thought about that since we got the baby.  After our first match, we prayed for a baby to come to us with no frills, just a phone call and done.  And God provided.  But that also meant we had to make some immediate adjustments to our life that most can make gradually.  We didn't suffer in the way I think my friend was worried about - sleeplessness, mostly.  But I would say we have had some adjustments hit us in different ways.  Today, at our first 'friend' birthday party, I made Mark go with us.  This was just one of many times I have laughed at the changes that have occurred.  But I kept thinking, the other dads of Kaylin's 'friends' will be there, so Mark should get used to this! And he never batted an eye.  I am sure at some point he had the same thought I have had many times -- who is this person?? But here we are, making choices and decisions that we never expected!
Choices such as:
         Who will pick up the baby today? One is golfing, the other working the school carnival.
          Can I go on that girls weekend? I will have school all week so will I get to see the baby enough?
         So everyone is going home this early? Super! The baby will be up at 6am anyways :)
          What should we do this weekend? Anyone wanna have all the kids at their house?

Now, all that being said, I do feel I am still the same person.  I am very cognizant of when we are around people who are not parents.  I make a conscious effort to have other things to talk about outside of Kaylin.  I am always thinking of how I felt before we had Kaylin and how I needed my friends to be able to talk about other things.  I try really hard to be the friend who can do that.  I think so often moms lose themselves in being moms.  I cherish my friends who are moms with me, especially those that are new moms with me.  But I also try really hard to value those friends who are in different places, who have different and just as important priorities.  I was there, I remember how it felt.