"And anyone who welcomes a child like this on my behalf is welcoming me" Matthew 18:5

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

These are the days of our lives

     Many of you like to keep up with what is happening on our journey and I often have absolutely nothing to report.  But in an effort to keep you all in the loop, I do have a story to share.  We got a call from our attorney's office last week and they had a birth mother they wanted us to meet.  You can imagine I was beyond excited to see that 864 number come up on my phone.  I spent the next few minutes getting all the details, writing them down so I could make sure to share them with the hubs correctly, and then making the call to him.  He said was talking 90 miles an hour, but you know how excited I was.  I proceeded to hit the gym and give him some unprecedented time to think without me staring at him.  When I got home, we agreed that we were definitely interested in meeting the BM.  I called the office manager back and gave her the news.  She said the next step was to work up the budget for us so we would know what to expect financially.  The next day she called to tell us that the cost would be $25,000.  This was the tip top of our budget, but we said we were still good.  The weekend came and we looked forward to setting up a meeting.  On Sunday, the sweet lady called back to tell me that the cost was actually $30,000.  We were going to be paying for several months of living expenses.   You can imagine how Mr. Logical reacted.  The next 24 hours in our house were tense, stressful, and just plain yuck.  I just felt like I couldn't say no and Mark felt like we couldn't afford to say yes.  After several discussions, Mark finally said it was up to me.  So I called the attorney's office and talked with the lady M.  M said she would talk to the Ray and see if they could get the budget down.  I didn't even know this was an option!! So by the end of the day, we had figured out some things that would make this affordable for us.  Meeting time and place was set, all we had to do was feel comfortable with the BM and her with us and it would be a match!
      Tuesday we head up to Greenville to meet the BM.  Ray gives us the "there are no red flags at this point, but you know how this can go" speech.  Oh yes, we know how this can go! So we waited --- and waited --- and nothing.  She didn't show up.  She did not even show up to meet us.  They apologized for having us drive up there and then this happening.  We got in the car and drove on home.  By the time we got back home, all I could do was laugh.  Seriously.  A no-show.  Evidently we have a sign over us that says, "Hey, please jerk us around, we can handle it!"
      Anyways, we still have not heard why she didn't show up and truly, it could be anything.  Part of me worries that something happened to her.  Her situation was pretty sad, so it is possible that not showing up wasn't her fault.  But she was also young and early in her pregnancy, so it is also possible she just ditched us.  Whichever it is, we have to believe that the Lord has something better planned.  In the meantime, we continue to be a source of humor for Him.
     And for those of you who are wondering, we are fine.  No tears were shed over this.  It was exciting at first, but it didn't work and that's okay.  The good things to come from all of this include the fact that the attorney tried to match us with someone already and it has only been two months, we have certainly garnered more sympathy in that office than we had, and we have yet another story to share with our friends and others.
     This road has been long, bumpy, and tough.  I just continue to pray that the end of this journey is coming, whether that is with a baby or the peace of mind that we were meant for other things.

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