In the club

If you are a girl, at some point in your life, there has been a club or group that you wanted to be a part of.  It might have been a group in high school or a sorority in college.  If you are like me, once you got your mind set to be in the club, that was the focus, how to get in.  You might have even decided you really disliked the girls already in the club at some point because you weren't a part of it.  Well, as an adult, that club was motherhood for me.  For a long time I didn't want to be in the club.  I was perfectly happy teaching all my babies and then sending them home.  Even as friends started having their own kids, I still was not convinced that club was for me.  I was in the "let's be able to go and do as we please" club and I liked it.  Mark and I did a lot of fun things, going out, travelling, paying off debts we acquired as young, dumb kids.  Then, I started to get the bug.  Maybe the motherhood club was something I should look into.  I did some "research".  I watched friends, family, coworkers, to see how they handled being in the club and still having a life.  As time went on, I decided I wanted to be in the club.  Mark and I discussed and decided we were ready to join.  So we did what most people do, we thought once we decided to join, we would get in right away.  Truth be told, once I set my mind to things, I was used to getting my way.  If I wanted to be in the club, then I would get in.  And as you all know from following my blog and being in our lives, we hit a hard reality. Simply wanting it wouldn't make it so.  I went through those phases where I didn't like the members of the club, pretty much because I couldn't get in.  Friends were all joining and speaking their secret club language.  It was difficult time! 

But as we have finally been initiated into the club it is so gratifying.  I can use the secret club language, I learned the handshake (it is pretty much try to find the other person's hand while they laugh at your bloodshot, dark circled eyes), and we have enjoyed every minute of it.  It sounds like a silly comparison, but motherhood/parenthood is a club.  When you are not in, you are very aware of it.  You notice all those around  you who are in it.  You tune out of club business conversations, and even at times feel like that is all that being discussed.  Then once you make it in, you get to participate! You have things to contribute!

What I learned from being out of the club for so long is that there is life outside the club.  While we definitely enjoy every aspect of parenting so far, I am very conscious of those around me who are not in the club.  Some have not joined by choice, others by circumstance, but regardless, there is something to be said for recognizing those who have other things going on.  I hope that as time goes on, I will continue to be aware of my conversations, social media posts, etc.  Just because she is the center of our lives doesn't negate what our friends and family all have going on.  We love our girl, but I still want to talk about other stuff, hear about other news, and see other pictures.  Still, though, I am totally thrilled to be in the club finally!!